escape

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by caeIestine

by caeIestine

Saturday,6 july 2024

Minho

I stopped practicing,my heart was racing at a fast pace,it was four in the morning,I just wanted to get away from all the mental stress at home,dance is the only way out of it for me but now that also became a threat,i was just laying down on the floor,the sharp pain in my chest made me groan in pain,my voice trembled but it was loud,it was a silent hour,my voice echoed in the room that soon fell silent again

It's been three months since the doctor told me that I'm diagnosed with ischemia(CAD),a condition which causes coronary arteries to narrow, limiting blood and oxygen flow to the heart

Even though the doctor told me not to do physical activities,I can't really leave dance behind.it is everything for me

They think I'll need a heart transplant...but I don't have money for that..

Dance was an escape from real world,from the truth,I felt like living in fantasy whenever I danced,my body felt lightweight,like I was just floating in the air

I tried to stand up and play the song again

Killing me softly with her song (perry como)

I played a slow song,this was my favourite one,letting my body sway the pain away with dance,I just moved my body like feathers,I felt lifeless,I felt broken but dance really added a life in this pain

My body moved like It wasn't in my control,every inch of my body reacted according to the song

The unmatched rhythms of my heart and dance,everything felt numb,I wanted to feel again,I wanted to feel alive but,I didn't really had enough of time

Author

Tears rolled down slowly from his eyes,but his face was silent,his expressions were silent but his eyes were loud,they screamed to be saved,they were scared,they were sad as the world in front of them was slowly falling apart

He was alone,the night gave him a hand of friendship,he felt peace but he wished to share it with someone,soon he realised,this wasn't really the right time for anything,he wanted to giveup but a little voice in his head always stopped him to.

"What if"

The only words he could hear in his mind,thousand of thoughts but only one answer,fake hopes

He layed on the floor again,placing his hands on his chest

"its okay"

he whispered to himself while his eyes closed slowly