A Void Dance

Chapter 7 CJ

It's been two weeks since Lydia and I started reading together. We also talked a lot, mostly about me. I found out that she's a psychiatrist who used to have a practice in Portland, Oregon, and that is pretty much the gist. I try not to let on to the fact that I noticed she doesn't share much, but I'm okay with it because I'm enjoying spending time with her. I know; who would have thought? I find myself rushing through my work days to get to the park; even on Fridays, it's tough to tear myself away to go to the bar. Also, I haven't hooked up with anybody in the last two weeks. When Dani found out, she placed her Palm on my forehead to check and see if I had a fever. But when I think of trying to find a girl to release the tension, I dry up like the damn desert. Now do I come home horny every time we are together? Yes. Do I masturbate like a teenage boy? Also, yes. I just can't remember a time in my life when I spent this much time with...anyone. She has this pull over me that I don't understand; it's like gravity. Listening to her read is precisely where I want to be.

Today, I decided to put together a surprise for her. I head out to the grocery store, realizing once I get there that I have no idea what she likes except for the little fruit cups from the cafe, so I'm going to be winging it here. She could be a health nut. So I will get fruits and vegetables and stuff like that, but what else to get eludes me. By the time I've finished shopping, I'm cutting it very close. I had to take my car because of all my bags. I told Lydia I would meet her at 6:00, and it was 5:55 when I got to the park. As usual, Lydia is sitting on her ugly blanket, basking in the sunlight, waiting for me to show up. She turns her head and sees me walking up with the bags of groceries. The look on her face is pure confusion. " What is all this," Lydia asks. " I thought that I would get us dinner," I say. I sit on the blanket and start taking the contents out of the bags and spreading them onto it. I take out plates, plastic cups, and Two small packets of to-go tissue, explaining I couldn't find a package of napkins that was small enough that wasn't in the party section, "so I hope these are okay," I say, holding them up. Lydia Smiles at that. I take out a party platter of veggies with cherry tomatoes, broccoli, celery, and snow peas. I take out a second platter with many fruits, including grapes, strawberries, pineapple, and cantaloupe. I also take out a meat and cheese tray and pull out a box of mini toast called melba toast and a fancy spreadable mustard. The clerk told me these little toast pieces would go great with the meat, cheese, and mustard.

I say with a shrug. Lydia's grin is broad, and her eyes glint with humor. "It's like a charcuterie board without the board," She laughs. "A charta what?" I ask. I swear she just swore at me in another language. "A charcuterie board is a board on which you put all of the types of things that you brought and serve as an entree at a get-together." I nod, still feeling a little perplexed. I get back to unpacking the contents of the bag. "I also brought hot Cheetos, which are my personal favorite. I didn't bring chips for you because I didn't know what you would like. But I am willing to share my Cheetos." I word-vomit all this, feeling a little sheepish.

Lydia shakes her head, laughing lightly, and responds, "All yours." I take out the following items: a Hershey bar and a king-sized reeses. "And for dessert," I say, holding them up and waving a hand over them like a waiter presents a bottle of wine in the movies. This action elicits another giggle from Lydia. "Finally to drink." I pull out a bottle of sparkling cider and water. "Made sure I got water, yanno, just in case." I feel heat creeping up my neck at how she looks at me. There is something in her eyes I can't name. Something warm admiration, maybe? "CJ, this is so sweet, thank you." She smiles genuinely, wraps her arms around my neck, and presses her body to mine. I am frozen in place, not knowing what I should do. Afraid that if I return the hug, she will freak out. Her hair smells faintly of roses. My stomach churns, and I feel...embarassed. No, wait, that can't be right. I have never been embarrassed about anything. She pulls away, her face flushed and eyes darting away.

She starts loading up a plate with a selection of everything, even a Reeses cup. She fills a plastic cup with some of the cider as well. My chest squeezes with a feeling of joy, like I did something right. I feel myself smiling widely. Then I remembered why I wanted to meet so late today. "I have another surprise for you," I say excitedly. "Oh, CJ, this is already so much! I hope you didn't go into any trouble." She almost looks dismayed. "No, no, I just wanted to show you one of my favorite things," I say quickly. I look at my watch for two more minutes. She sits staring, and I forget what I'm doing for a second. " Oh, one more minute," I say. I watch the seconds count down on my watch, and when it hits 7 pm, I say, "ok now." At that moment, the park lights up. Fairy lights are hanging from the tree above us and the trees next to us. The walking path lights up with strings of light connected from one lamp pole to the next. In the twilight of the day, the light casts a warm glow over the park, and the fairy lights in the tree above us make it feel like a romantic fairytale. Lydia's eyes are wide, taking in the scene. "I only absently noticed the lights in the park from my room on the walking path. "This is incredible, CJ." She breathes out the last part of her statement with awed appreciation. Her eyes meet mine, and we subtly lean into each other, saying nothing with words. She brings her hand up, cupping my cheek. Her touch sets me on fire; once again, I am frozen. Suddenly, Lydia blinks and sits back upright, pulling her hand away. "This is amazing, CJ. Thank you so much for everything. Should we read?" She says this without looking at me. The sound in her voice was almost cold. "Um, yeah, ok," I respond, not understanding the shift in her demeanor. "Is everything good?" I ask. "Of course," Lydia says with the fakest smile I have ever seen her give me.