Deny Me

Chapter 4

During the first year after the incident, Kinn and Vegas could not stay in one room without literally being at each other's throat. The Tawan fiasco had made the wedge between the cousins bigger, and the people around them, even their fathers, had given up on trying to ease the tension between the two. They may want their sons to compete with each other but not to the extent that it would cause early deaths before their retirement. But, alas! Kinn and Vegas were both determined to kill each other that the elders had shook their hands with the silent agreement that whoever survived the sh*tshow that those two was on will be the new family head.

Just as they lost all hope, Kinn had slowly become passive as if he had mastered ignoring Vegas and his evil schemes. He still radiates full hatred for his cousin but he no longer actively torment him physically. It's like he had grown immune to Vegas' verbal insults and attacks, and had resorted going nonverbal when Vegas acts up. It inferiorates Vegas even more when Kinn does that, but his older cousin was adamant at treating him like an insignificant fly, and it drives Vegas crazy.

He had hurled all sorts of insults and name calling but Kinn just wouldn't budge. So he resorted to a low blow.

"This is why Tawan cheated on you with me. Your personality is as bland as a boiled potato." It was one of their monthly meetings and Vegas was on his mission to provoke Kinn again. Every in the room had held their breath, expecting for the worst when Kinn will finally explode.

But all he did was look at Vegas straight in the eye and said, "You know, in hindsight, I have to thank you for doing that. I almost married a traitor and endanger the whole family business. It's because of your exemplary fiance-stealing skills that stopped that possibility. I should commend you for that because losing and killing that bastard wasn't really my loss. You, on the other hand..." He left his words hanging but they all know what he meant.

In a blink, Vegas was gripping his collar. "Don't you dare." He growled but Kinn had pried his cousin's hands off him.

"Don't start something you can't handle." He says back and left the room. Before he closed the door, he can hear something crashed the wall and break, followed by a few colorful curses.

Vegas should have known better than to mention Tawan.

After that incident, the Tawan fiasco and Tawan's name was never mentioned again. It was like all of them had this silent agreement to not mention anything about it.

As the years go by, it gets easier to be around on the same room with the two Theerapanyakul heirs. There were less fights and more collaboration, but the animosity stayed between them.

As Kinn's mood and his trigger happy tendency improved over time, Vegas had gotten worse. He got colder and more ruthless that even his father and uncle are afraid of his volatile nature, always keeping them in their toes during family meetings.

Vegas was aware of the changes. He was aware of how the bodyguards became stiff when he's around, how the staffs tiptoed around him, and how his father and uncle had gone from controlling to becoming amenable to what he wants. It was only Macau and Kinn who didn't flinch when his in the room and who still got the guts to oppose him. The former was entitled to do that. The latter was just an assh*le who thrives on seeing Vegas miserable.

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Today was one of those days when Vegas just need time to be away somewhere quiet. And just knows a place.

"Good afternoon, Khun Vegas." The shop owner greeted him.

"Good afternoon. Are purple hyacinths available today?"

"Yes, Khun. Same as the last time?" Vegas nodded and the other proceeded to arrange a boquet as he waited at a nearby stool. Once his order was done, he thanked the shop owner and made his way out.

After a 15-minute ride, he had reached his destination. It was quiet as usual. No one was around expect the caretaker that stays at the gate, who by now, had already known Vegas by the number of times he had been there. With a nod of acknowledgement, he started walking inside towards the columbarium until he reached a particular niche. He noticed the fresh daises in front of it. Macau must have visited. Slowly, he put the purple hyacinths beside them before sitting on the floor.

"It's been a while," He says quietly, feeling the familiar sting in his heart as he stares at the picture in front of him.

"Macau was back yesterday. He was still a brat, I can tell. He keeps talking back, can you believe that?" He chuckles but felt his throat closing up.

"He still doesn't talk to me, though. But I understand. He must have hate me so much for what happened. I hate myself as well... I tried talking to him, you know? But maybe it's better this way. It was my fault anyway. It's my fault that you..."

Vegas paused, willing his tears to not fall. He doesn't deserve to cry when it was his fault that it had come to this.

"...god, it was easier when you're around. You were always the one who was better at words. I was only better at hurting people. I—I'm never cut out for making amends," Vegas kept talking, but was only met with silence.

"I really f*cked it up, didn't I?" He laughed without humor, just a constant ache in his chest that's been there for the last 6 years.

"It's my fault why you can't be around anymore... why you can't fulfill your promise to look after Macau when I wasn't around... when we fight like all brothers do." He pursed his trembling lips, holding back a sob when he can no longer hold back his tears.

"I'm sorry, Pete. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." He rambles as he curled in the corner, his voice full of regret.

"I'm sorry." He finally sobbed, his heart breaking for him once more.