Deny Me

Chapter 3

"Let go of me, Pete. I'm going to kill that bastard!" Kinn says while aggressively pulling his arms from Pete and pushing him away until his back hits the railings where Vegas and Tawan are standing together.

"I was a patient man, Vegas. I was forgiving, even. I let all of your schemes against me slide because I know deep down, you aren't that bad. I even give you the benefit of the doubt! But this was so out of line." Hurt was evident in Kinn's voice and Pete couldn't help but sympathize.

"But I guess Papa was right. We are born to be enemies, you and I. So I won't keep this rivalry last long. I'm removing you out of the picture." That's what they last heard before there was a loud bang and a splash, then there was silence.

"PETEEEE!"

Vegas wakes up panting and sweating. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm his nerves, ignoring how his hands shook as he reached for a bottle of water at his bedside. It's been 6 years and he still gets the same nightmare now and then. During the first year, it was so intense that he developed insomnia so severe he had to take sleeping pills. Vegas can't fall asleep naturally because he dreams and then it would eventually lead to a recurring nightmare. He can't say it got better but now, he can fall into a dreamless sleep when he gets lucky and the universe grants him time off for this life-long punishment he had to endure. But most times, when he closed his eyes,  he would see the scene playing again and again even when he was awake. Maybe because it wasn't just a dream but a dreadful memory that haunts him both in his sleep and in his every waking moment.

_________________

"Aren't you going to greet your brother?" Vegas asked when he saw Macau enter the minor family's door, dragging his luggage along. The younger looked sharply at him.

"You stopped being my brother 6 years ago." Macau coldly replied, walking past him. After a while, he could hear a loud bang, he supposed that was his younger brother's door.

Ever since that incident happened, Macau had resented him. He refused to talk to Vegas for the first few months and had regarded him coldly and harshly since then. But he cannot bring himself to get angry with him. Macau had every right to be mad at Vegas. He screwed up big time and he believes this is his penance.

On the other side of the house, Macau had slumped in his bed, eyes closed. He didn't even bother to open the lights. He was dead tired from the flight and was angry that he had to take it and go back in the minor family house. He hated this place. Leaving and studying abroad was one of the best things he did in his life. It made him feel free—from the chaotic life of the mafia, from his brother, from the memories of this godforsaken place.

But now his pa had called him home and as much as he wanted to say no, he can't. His bastard of a father won't it take lightly if he declines, and Macau, despite his resentment towards his brother, doesn't want Vegas to suffer the brunt of Gun's rage.

Sighing and opening his eyes, he saw the tiny glow-in-the-dark stars in the ceiling.

"I'm sorry I woke you up again, phi."

Macau's voice was small, ashamed that it wasn't the first time that he had sneaked into Pete's room in the middle of the night and asked the older to tuck him into bed again. It's usually Vegas who does this but his brother had been on a mission for days and his insomnia isn't getting better because he has separation anxiety.

"Hey, it's okay. I can sleep here again if you want to. I know you get scared and anxious when Vegas wasn't around for longer than usual. It's alright. I'll keep you safe," Pete replied sofly as he ushered Macau to his bed and tucked him in, ruffling his hair.

"The stars are pretty tonight, P'Pete." He says as he glanced at the glass window. The night was dark but the sky was littered with tiny sparkling dots.

"They are." Pete agreed as he plopped beside the younger.

"I wish they are like this every night. I would feel less scared and I can count them until I fall asleep," Macau giggles and Pete chuckled and hummed in agreement.

A few days later, Macau had jumped in joy seeing a hundred tiny little dots of glow-in-the-dark stars were scattered in the ceiling.

"You're the best, P'Pete!" He squealed and hugged him.

"Anything for the little master," The older teased and he grinned in return.

Macau can't help but smile at the memory. He stood up and got out of his room, walking further in the hallway before reaching to another room. Twisting the door knob, the door opened and he was greeted with a clean room. Not the messy one he was acquainted with when he was still young. Pete had once called it organized chaos and he'd laugh at it and tease him about it. Now, it seemed like someone was tasked to keep it tidy but had kept the personal things entact. His old skateboard was still hanging on the wall, this boxing gloves and shoes are on the rack, and their pictures are still in the side table. One was from his elementary graduation, another from their first day at the amusement park, and some other photos from random picnics and travels.

He moved to the bed and went under the covers. The pillows didn't smell like the familiar citrus scent that they used to. Rather, it smelled of fresh detergent. Macau looked at the entirety of the room. Everything looks clinically clean. It's so tidy, it hurts. Despite the personal things inside the room, it looks hollow. No sign of life. A painful reminder of who was once here but was no longer here.

"I missed you so much, phi." Macau whispers as a single tear fell from his eye.

"I wish you were still here."