His Flower

Chapter Four

The light from the window is burning my eyes. I get up and close the curtains and lay back in bed. I haven't left my house in a week, somehow even though I didn't know Alexei for long at all, I'm still sad as if we were together for years. My chest hurts and I'm constantly yearning for his warm embrace. I miss his hugs and kisses. I miss his hands on my waist and how he'd cup my cheeks when he wanted me to listen when he is serious. I miss his smile and his laugh. I miss him so much that some nights I see him in my dreams. In them he tells me that he's ready to commit to me, he missed me. Those are bitter-sweet dreams. The bitch in my head is always telling me he has found someone better. She says that I was stupid for believing that our connection was more than lust.

You are stupid. He would've stayed if you had given him what he wanted. Sex. You're so uptight that you let a man like that slip through your pathetic fingers. Now, look at yourself, crying over a man who has forgotten about you. Grow up and stop being boring.

I push her into a soundproof box in the back of my mind so she can't hurt my feeling anymore. Suddenly the doorbell rings. I begrudgingly get up and open the door. Lia and Gem are standing in the hall of my apartment floor with looks of concern. I inwardly roll my eyes, they act as if I'm dying or something. They are treating me like I'm made of glass.

"Hey guys, what are you doing here?" I lift my voice higher to appear happy. It doesn't work because Lia pouts with pity filling her eyes. I despise pity.

"Can we come in, we miss you." Gemini gives me puppy eyes, hoping that it'll work. It doesn't, I just want to be left alone.

"Not today guys, I just need to be alone." Lia shakes her head in disapproval and shoves past me into my home. I look at them in disbelief and Gemini pulls me to sit with her on my couch. After we're seated I feel myself getting aggravated.

"Don't get mad, babe, we just miss you. We're worried about your well-being. You haven't left your apartment in a week. I'm happy to see you cleaned and kept your hygiene routine. Have you eaten?" Lia rants. I miss them too. I just can't push myself to hang out. I had to take time off from my job at the rescue because I don't want to leave my home. I sleep so much because that's when I see him, talk to him, kiss him. He loves me in my dreams, so I sleep.

"I have, I ate a bagel with butter. Don't worry about me, I'm doing fine. My time off is about to end anyway, so I'll have to leave my home." I don't look either of them in the eyes. Part of me is ashamed that I'm this messed up over Alexei. The other part gives me grace and tells me to take all the time I need.

"Good, but make sure to eat more than five hundred calories. The fact that you only ate a bagel with butter today is worrisome. You need to stay healthy, Alex would have a fit if he knew you were eating so little." I scoff at Gemini's statement. Alexei doesn't give a shit about me, he left. How would he know anyway, unless?

"Gemini, please tell me you aren't giving him a play-by-play of my daily well-being and activities."

"I can't, he asks and I spill. I'd want him to do the same for me. He cares for you, whether you know it or not. Alex asks about you every day, you're the reason he calls daily. When he found out you weren't leaving your apartment he was so mad he threw the phone and had to replace it. He feels bad about how things were left between the two of you." He offers me a weak smile which I do not return.

"I'm a grown-ass woman. He does not need to know what I'm doing, it's none of his business. I don't like that you've been doing this and I want you to stop. He needs to mind his business. We are not together and I'm not his submissive. There is no reason for you to offer him information about me." I'm fuming. He was supposed to be my friend. Alexei doesn't need to know what I'm doing. If he cared so much he should've stayed and yet he didn't. How dare he think that he has any right to be in my business after what he said over the phone to Gemini?