Whisper My Name

Chapter 45

March 31, 1992

Isabella Toscano Loft

I can tell your eyes are just about

To give you away

'Cause there's the girl that

You were after

Feel your heart

Beatin' faster now

There's the girl that

You were after

Can you say that

You don't want her anymore?

~There's the Girl ~ Heart ~

John and Marlena had arrived back in Salem late the night before. Shane had used his own private jet, because they were all still wary of Chief Vaughn's involvement in everything that had happened. Their trust was thin, and they felt it best to keep everything between John, Marlena, Abe, and Shane. He stood outside of Isabella's loft, and took a deep breath. He knew she was home. He'd seen her car parked on the street in front of the building. This was going to be painful, for both of them, but John couldn't be a coward. He'd hurt Isabella, and he owed her some answers. Taking another deep breath, John knocked on the loft door. After several seconds the door slid open, and he found himself staring down into Isabella's surprised face.

She was quiet for a few moments, staring at him blankly, and then she finally said, "You're back." He looked different. She'd never seen him with a full beard before, and his skin was darker, as if he'd been on a beach vacation. Perhaps he had been.

"We — I just got back last night... well, early this morning." He waited a moment, and then he said softly, "I was hoping we could talk."

Isabella continued to stare at him blankly, "What is there to talk about, John? I'm pretty sure our relationship ended in Colorado. It ended with you driving by, and leaving me in a ditch."

"I know you're angry, and you're hurt, and you have every right to be, but if you'd let me explain," John told her. He waited. "Are you going to let me in, Isabella, or do I have to have this conversation with you standing in the hallway?"

She reluctantly stepped back, saying, "There's not much to explain is there? Marlena called, and you ran to her rescue, like usual, only this time... you didn't come back. You always run to her when she needs you. No matter how hard I tried to get you to love me, it was always her!" She walked into the living room, and then turned to face him in a flurry of brown curly hair, "And the worst part is... you wanted her to call you. Every single time. You wanted her to need you!"

John studied her for a moment. There was truth in what she was saying. He craved time with Marlena, and when she called him, it was an undeniable excuse to go to her. He asked her softly, "Are you surprised? I don't think you are. I think after Mexico... and based on what you said to me in Colorado, you already knew what I wanted, and you manipulated me anyway."

She stared at him in surprise, feeling apprehension make its way up her spine, "What? What do you mean by that?"

John stepped closer to her, staring down into her lying brown eyes, "In Mexico... you knew that I was as low as I could possibly be. I was losing everything, Isabella. Every fucking thing I knew. Don't you understand that? I didn't know anything else. My job, my house, my family, my children... and my wife. You knew that... and you took advantage of that. You took advantage of my devastation."