Whisper My Name

Chapter 46

Salem University Hospital Parking Garage

Sometimes I'm not so strong

And even now I could be wrong

But if you love me like music

I'll be your song

~ (Love Me Like Music) I'll Be Your Song ~ Heart ~

Marlena had fallen asleep in John's arms after crying over her horrible interaction with Roman. John's conversation with Isabella hadn't gone much better. He glanced over at her as they drove to the hospital for Marlena's appointment with Dr. Bader. Reaching for her hand, he asked her softly, "Are you okay, Doc?"

"I shouldn't be surprised," she said, still feeling overwhelmed. She kept replaying her conversation with Roman at the house that morning. His refusal to acknowledge how he'd hurt her was the most problematic. "Ever since he's returned he's not the same... his time with Stefano changed him. He was loud, and opinionated before, but it was never spite filled. It was never controlling. If he loses control, he becomes so mean."

"He's different," John replied. He'd been thinking that ever since they encountered Roman in the jungle of San Cristobal. The man John met there, was not the Roman Brady he held in his memories. "Even with the microchip gone, I still have his memories. I have all of their memories. Roman's time with Stefano made him bitter, and now that I have my own memories coming back, I know what he went through. A lot of Roman's current behaviors are protective behaviors... he doesn't recognize them for that though. By trying to control you, and the children, even his environment, he's trying to protect himself."

"I recommended therapy, when he first came home. I should have insisted on it." She was silent for a moment, staring out the window watching the trees whiz by, and then she said, "He spent so much time alone in those years, with all of these fantasies about what his life would be like when he came home. He has dreams at night where he wakes up screaming, and would refuse to talk about them. Seven years was a long time to live under Stefano DiMera's tortuous machinations."

John knew what he had been through while he was with Stefano. Long nights hanging from a ceiling in chains, loud arias with flashing lights, and the drugs - the drugs were the worst part. "Has he ever talked about it?"

"He won't discuss it. He won't discuss his time with Stefano, and he won't discuss what happened in Salem while he was gone... maybe if we had, we wouldn't find ourselves hurting Isabella and Roman. If I had forced him to have a real conversation, if I had looked at my own feelings for you without feeling guilty for them, we might have made different choices." Marlena looked over at John, and felt the squeeze of his hand.

She was right, but there was nothing they could do but focus on each other going forward. John smiled, glancing over at her before putting his eyes back on the road, "Open communication now, Doc. Isn't that what we agreed on?"

"Open communication," she said.

John pulled the Jeep into the parking garage of the hospital, feeling excitement over the prospect of this new life Marlena was carrying. Putting the vehicle in park, he exited, and rounded the vehicle, holding his hand to help her out. "Are you ready for this?"

Marlena stood in front of him, staring up, and she said, "I am, but I also know that this baby is going to hurt Roman and Isabella. I didn't tell Roman. I couldn't bring myself to be that honest with him about this. Not yet."

"I didn't tell Isabella either." John laced his fingers through hers, and closed the door to the Jeep. "After losing Brady... finding out about this baby will make her more bitter, but Doc," he said, stopping to stare down at her with intensity. Marlena looked down, and John said, "Look at me, baby." Her eyes lifted, and he told her, "I also don't want us to feel guilty about this gift. When you're further along... a few weeks more, we can tell the family. It's still so early."