もののけ | monster | soshiro hoshina (Kaiju No. 8)

じゅうさん | thirteen

もののけ | kaiju | monster

13

Soshiro

I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I HAD HEARD. Maybe I misheard him. Perhaps the trauma from the incident had muddled my hearing. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be real. I lay on the hospital bed, my arm shielding my eyes from the harsh reality I didn't want to face. I wanted to convince myself that Kiyomo's father's words were some cruel joke or a misunderstanding—Why would a man as serious as him lie to me?

But the scene replayed in my mind relentlessly, refusing to let me escape. "My daughter doesn't want to see you," his voice echoed in my ears, his expression unreadable yet firm. At that moment, I almost wanted to laugh, thinking it was one of Kiyomi's pranks. She always had a mischievous streak, often playing tricks on me just to see my reaction. This had to be another one of her games.

But then came the words that shattered my hopes and tore my heart into pieces. "She doesn't want to talk to you or even see you, Soshiro. That's what she said to me earlier..." Isao Shinomiya had said with brutal clarity. His words hung in the air like a heavy fog, suffocating me with their weight. The truth of his statement hit me like a physical blow, stealing the breath from my lungs.

I felt a dull ache deep within me, a mixture of confusion, hurt, and a profound sense of loss. Why would Kiyomi refuse to see me? What had I done wrong? Countless questions swirled in my mind, unanswered and tormenting.

I closed my eyes tightly, willing the tears that threatened to spill over to stay at bay. I didn't want anyone to see me like this—weak, vulnerable, and utterly shattered. The room felt suffocating, the walls closing in around me as I grappled with the harsh reality of Kiyomi's rejection.

Was it my fault? Had I failed her somehow? Guilt gnawed at my insides, twisting and turning like a relentless beast. Is that even a question? Of course, I failed her. I failed Kiyomi. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, making it hard to breathe. My tears wouldn't stop, blurring my vision as they fell uncontrollably. I was an emotional wreck, and Kiyomi knew that all too well. She was painfully aware of it. But why was she doing this? It felt like a cruel and endless torture.

I couldn't think straight, my mind a chaotic storm of guilt and sorrow. Was she mad at me? Had I done something so unforgivable that she couldn't even bear to see me? The questions gnawed at my insides, each one more painful than the last.

I sat up on the bed. Every memory we shared played on a loop in my mind, a constant reminder of what I had lost. The way she laughed, the sparkle in her eyes, the way she used to hold my hand so tightly as if she never wanted to let go. And now, she didn't want to see me. The thought was unbearable.

"Kiyomi," I whispered to the empty room, my voice cracking with pain. "Why are you doing this to me?..."

I buried my face in my hands, trying to stifle the sobs that threatened to break free. It felt like my heart was being torn apart, each beat a painful reminder of the love I had lost. The silence in the room was deafening, amplifying the anguish I felt inside. It's driving me mad.