もののけ | monster | soshiro hoshina (Kaiju No. 8) (COMPLETE)

ななじゅうご | seventy five

もののけ | kaiju | monster

75

[A lengthy chapter ahead]

Soshiro

"YOU KNOW MY THOUGHTS ABOUT MARRIAGE, SOSHIRO," Kiyomi sighed, but it wasn't out of anger or annoyance. It was like the weight of the conversation exhausted her. She gently removed herself from my lap, sitting beside me on the bed as I sat up too, my eyes glued to every move she made. Yet she refused to look at me. The silence between us was deafening, an invisible wall thick with unsaid things.

"We've talked about this before... I'm not that same little girl who dreamed of weddings and rings," she said flatly. Her voice had this cold edge to it, a wall of indifference. "That fantasy is long dead, Soshiro. It's over."

I let out a heavy sigh of my own, frustration building in my chest like a fire I couldn't put out. "I know you feel that way, Kiyomi," I muttered, trying to keep my voice steady as I stared at her, still refusing to meet my eyes. "But this isn't just about you. It's about us. It's about our family. I'm not asking you to live in some fairy tale—"

She cut me off, her head snapping toward me with a glare that pierced through me. "We don't know what could happen," she spat, her voice sharp. "I could die tomorrow, Soshiro. Hell, I could die right now. That monster inside me—" She clenched her fists, eyes narrowing. "I won't let it take over, but you can't pretend it isn't there."

Her words hit me like a punch in the gut. I knew this conversation was going to get ugly, but hearing her say it, hearing her admit that death was still her endgame—it made my blood boil.

"You don't get it, do you?" she continued, her voice dangerously calm now. "Maybe after I give birth to our child, I'll face whatever comes. But right now? Marriage is the last thing on my mind."

"So you're still planning to die?!" I snapped, my voice harsher than I intended. The second the words left my mouth, the atmosphere in the room shifted. She didn't even flinch, didn't blink. She just stared at me with those cold, dead eyes, like she was already a ghost. That unresponsive, emotionless look—fuck, it pissed me off.

I laughed bitterly, the sound venomous as it escaped me. "So all this time, even after everything we've been through, after we talked in that goddamn cell, you're still thinking about dying?" I growled, the anger bubbling up inside me, impossible to suppress. "You're so fucking selfish, Kiyomi."

Before I could stop myself, I grabbed her wrists and pinned her to the bed, my body looming over hers. But even then, she didn't flinch. She didn't react. She just stared up at me, her face a mask of cold indifference. And it made me want to break something.

"How can you be so fucking selfish?!" I roared, my voice cracking with frustration, with desperation. "You don't get to just decide to die and leave me and our child behind like that! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Her eyes finally sparked with emotion—anger. Real, raw, burning anger. "Selfish? You think I'm selfish?!" she spat, her voice rising to match mine. "You think I want this? You think I want to be this fucking ticking time bomb?! You don't know what it's like to feel a monster crawling inside you, threatening to take over any second. You don't know what it's like to wake up every day wondering if today's the day you'll lose control!"