Miss Bad Idea

One Secret I'll Never Tell

"Wait, did that dike just run out of this hag's office?" My very respectful friend, Taylor, said.

"Ew, I was with her on a group project once and she totally ghosted me." Me, Athena added

"Well, why were you with her?"

"You and Olivia bolted that day, so I didn't have a choice, mastermind."

"Well, I am sort of the mastermind."

"Oh, shut up, retard."

"Sorry"

If you were wondering, yes, that's how our conversations pretty much go.

"Um... dears, this is an individual session, maybe we can schedule one group therapy later if that's ok?" Officer Hag noted.

"Is just that... I-I feel so, so intensely when it came with Olivia and I don't think I can do this, this thera-thing alone Officer Ha-Sinclair" I almost fucked up.

Our plan is simple: I am the prime suspect in the murder of Olivia Presley. I was First Runner-Up in Miss New York Teen USA, but I lost to Olivia. It is also a well-known fact that she has treated me like dirt throughout the years, and that I'm obviously very fucking jealous. The point is that I needed somebody to back up my story, making me seem less guilty.

"I suppose a session wouldn't hurt; I will check with the faculty after," The Terapiss said. "You know what You two remind me a lot of Serena van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf."

We stayed silent.

"You know... from Gossip Girl."

"We know." I added. "It's just that we're surprised you know the show."

"We try." Taylor interrupted.

The Officer started to talk again: "I mean, you're both pretty and rich, and I've heard that you are also very popular. Most importantly, you were close with her, right?"

"Who?" a very smart addition from my friend here.

"Liv, bitch," I said.

Silence. Again

"Oh, don't look at me like that; everybody's heard that. And it's true," I added.

Officer Hag sighed and said, "How was your relationship with her?" the blonde bitch on the other chair and smiled like we had an emotional connection whatsoever, outside of the brand of shoes we buy.

I decided to say the truth, so they have nothing against me. Of course I will sugarcoat it: "I mean, we were superficial, but we always had each others back. When it mattered."

The Therapiss took notes.

"Hey, didn't you two had a fight like a week before she died because she called you a nigga?" Taylor felt the need to mention.

"Taylor!" I screamed "What the fuck?" On the other side, whispered.

"What? It's true," she said in a rather sad tone.

So she is not only highly retarded but also a fake ass.

"It wasn't a big deal. Tay"

That's how I attempted to patch up the discussion. But NOOOO, she, she then had to put all the goddamn sea in the ocean and rub it right in the wound by describing the entire fortnight. The worst part is that I couldn't shut her up, or it would somehow worsen the situation.

Let's reminisce. Line by line, shall we?

Olivia P: So I was with my whore of a sister, and she was like, "I totally had an orgy last night," and I was like, "Nah, nigga, that shit did not happen," and let me tell you, believe me, it did happen.

Athena V: Oh my God, that's so funny (while fake laughing). But, um, I don't think you're supposed to say that.

Olivia P: Say what? (Bitch knew exactly what).

Athena V: You know... the N word?

Olivia P: If you can say it, I can say it. Also, we're like friends, and you are black, so I can't be racist.

Athena V: First of all, I'm mixed. My dad is white and married my mom for her BBL. Secondly, it is not a question of "Yo black o' yo white?" or "Are you from the 'hood?" or "You Ghetto?" because the word has racist origins dating back to the slaves. In my opinion, nobody should say that, much less an uneducated brat like you who's whiter and freaking Snow White.

Oliva P: Hey you, Reyes, you could be really pretty. If you tried really hard, just like my friend here, Athena, she also didn't let her shitty-ethnicity hold her back.

Athena V: What...? Hey, we are in the middle of a conversation.

Olivia P: Oh no, we're not. You are out of the group, and I don't talk to peasants.

You see... my friend here, RR, wouldn't disrespect me or deny me of no shit, right, babe?

Rosemary R: Yeah, yeah...

And she just left.

And we didn't talk. Not until the first day of school and a big ass apology. From me.

Ok, back to what you came for, which is the fact that I ran like a little pussy out of that room. Damn, just like that dike, Reyes. Well, the point is that I regrouped with Chanel No. #Dumbass to talk, and I think I cried:

"Bitch, what the fuck is wrong with you and your retarded brain? Don't you remember what we came there to do? Why are went together?"

Taylor fought back with, "I didn't listen to your speech, but I was looking at hot single Brooke. I mean, I assumed because going there alone would be boring as hell."

"No! I look guilty as sin of that homicide; I needed an alibi buddy, like in Scream Queens. I'm not responsible, but I look like it, and I need somebody that can help me do that, and you let me the hell down. Now it's worse for me, because of you," I blurted like vomit.

She would've apologized, but Officer Hag came back with the news that, indeed, there is no second joined session for us. Damn. That would've been it, but a hot piece of meat started walking in the hallway. I knew I knew her, but I don't know who she is. I might tell you in the next one.

Yours truly, Athena.