Closer To You

𝟏𝟏. 𝐇𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐙𝐚𝐡𝐫𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞

We have been on the road for a few minutes since we left school. Hassan has put some nasheeds on in the background at a low volume to fill the silence. 

My eyes roam the world outside this car. A motorcycle is overtaking our car, and a boy and girl are giggling without helmets, the gentle stroke of the soft wind capturing their hair into a fleeting pull. He says something to the girl with a smirk, and the girl laughs wholeheartedly.

Her hands tense against his stomach and wrap more tightly.

Ahh, the boy must have asked her to hold on more tightly.

Blissful joys of young love. May they stay happy.

The car stops as we reach the next set of traffic lights. The motorcycle stops right next to our car and I avert my eyes from the image of the happy couple.

Why am I here? I still don't understand.

Was I wrong to assume that Baba disliked my and Hassan's interaction in the garden last week? Did I misread his expression?

Because I don't understand, no, I can't fathom why my dad would ask me to get into a car with Hassan.

Hassan, a boy, may I add.

Even if we are family friends, that doesn't change anything. What in the world is my dad thinking?

He has never done such a thing. I've been perfectly comfortable taking the bus since last year, and I rarely get driven back home. The only time I get driven home is when Baba is near school and is generous enough to offer a lift to me.

Before last year, I had two parents in the house, so it was easy for them to drive me to wherever I needed to go. But now, the priority is Inaya, and it's unfair for me to ask my dad to drive both her and me to school, on top of him going to his office as well.

That's why the bus is fine and why I have been travelling like that since last year. But it's incomprehensible that today I have to come home with a boy whom I met not even a week ago.

And I don't understand why Baba sounded so angry on the phone. I mean, I've dealt plenty with Baba's anger, especially since Mum left, but this anger was different. This can't be his anger at my disobedience.

It is something else.

And, if he was not annoyed by my closeness with Hassan, then why has he been ignoring me since last week? He hasn't been normal with me since that day, always avoiding talking to me, and he can't withstand saying a couple of words to me either.

Why? Is there another reason behind his behaviour?

Something's going on.

I hear the sound of a breath releasing, and Hassan's fingers start drumming the steering wheel.

"How were your classes?" Hassan questions quietly. For a second, I question whether he is actually speaking to me, but as I look at him from the corner of my eye, I can see him flickering his gaze to me while awaiting an answer. We are still stuck in the traffic lights.

"Uhh good, alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah)" I whisper. He nods his head. "..How were your classes?" I ask back.

"Ok, alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah)." He replies, lifting his lip in a small smile.

"How have you been fitting into our sixth form?" I ask with curiosity. It hasn't been long since he moved to our school. I hope he's been adjusting well.

He nods his head slowly. "I've been okay. It's not been difficult navigating myself. I admit the first day was a bit of a mess, but since then, I've been making it a habit to know where I'm going and keep my eyes open. I don't want to hurt anyone else.." He speaks sheepishly, running a hand through his curls.