A Serpent's Feathers

CHAPTER 3: Why Didn't You Stop Me?

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The next time i open my eyes, i'm pressed against his front door as Kolt locks it, his hands slipping up my dress as he places kisses all over my neck. He death grips my thighs, making me whimper from the force he's putting on me. He makes sure i'm pressed tightly onto the wall, moving his lips back to mine and making out with me as if its an insult. And i love it, so fucking much. I've had some good shit, but this was...different. Somehow. In someway. It was wrong. This makes me just as bad as Landon.

But oh god. The way Kolt is touching me makes it so fucking worth it. ....Shit.

landon.

i forgot to tell him about Landon.

......i think i'm gonna keep it that way.

I open my mouth, beginning to talk but he just chokes me with his tongue, shoving it down deep into my mouth, kissing me so roughly and almost vigorously that it hurts. I push away, panting and already sweating. Before i can say a word, i'm being carried up to the second floor and taken into a room. Its so beautiful, but i cant even truly comprehend it before i'm slammed down onto a bed with silky black sheets and pillows. I look up at kolt, biting my lip and whining for him. I need this man inside of me so, so bad. I barley even blink, and Kolt is taking off his shirt and undoing his belt as if he's ready for me already, He keeps his tie on, and that just makes him even sexier. But..his body makes me pause. His tattoos. He has scars all over his body. a lipstick mark on his hip. A semicolon on his wrist. ...There's a semicolon on his wrist.. It upsets me to do so, but i just can't. All those marks. They're so attractive, and not in a sexual way. Like being drawn into a story. Guided into a dark alleyway. They're talking to me. And i know what that semicolon means, because i have one on the back of my neck. His arms look like he fought a fucking lion. I have to know. Sex can wait. Even though ive never, EVER said that..theres something about this man. "Kolt." i say, sitting up. He notices my change in tone and body language, obviously, because his face goes from aroused to concerned. "Alex? Is there something wrong? Are you nervous?" he asks me. I give him a look, and he immediately gets the memo. He sits down next to me, and i push him so that he's fully laying down on his back. I straddle him, grabbing his arm and pointing to the semicolon.

I can literally feel him go soft. Damn.

"....I don't want to talk about that right now, alex. I want you." He tries to ignore it., leaning up and grabbing my waist as he tries to kiss me again. I force him back down, and he realizes im serious. His face goes cold, looking at me as if i just ruined his whole life. A bored and upset expression. "Are you serious? You really want me to explain t-" I cut him off. "I know what it means, Kolt. I have it on the back of my neck. You didn't notice it." i talk firmly. "I don't know what i'm feeling right now, and quite frankly, i don't like it. But i have to know. I NEED to know. everything. each and every scar. Every tattoo. That kiss mark on your hip. Is that a tattoo? I want to know it all. Its bothering me. Its means something. And when you sat down, i saw that snake on your back." i snap at him, each word spoken louder than the last. Kolt sits up, looking at me like i'm crazy. He reaches to grab the collar of my dress, but i inhale and he stops himself. He lets out a breath, then kisses me. But this time, i let him. He grabs my hand, placing it on the tattoo of a butterfly on his shoulder. "My mother killed herself when i was 15," he begins. I rub his shoulder and break the kiss as he speaks, just resting my forehead on his. His skin feels awfully plump and full of life, like a baby's skin. Despite the tattoos, its like his skin is ripe. "My father was a pedophile, and cheated in her right in front of her face. She went up to me, told me she loved me, and slit her throat." I gasped slightly. What the fuck. "She had the same butterfly tattoo on her shoulder. When i turned 20, my best friend got a pet butterfly. She lives right next door, and that butterfly is still good and healthy as we speak. it reminds me of her."

I almost tear up. Butterflies are one of my favorite animals....Kolt guides my hand to the tattoo on his left peck, right under his shoulder. Its a chainsaw with blood dripping from it. "I killed my father with a chainsaw three days after i turned 20. I never got caught." My eyes widen once he stops talking. This is wrong. i know too much already. What's going on? But i need to know. Im not done. "I was stronger than he gave me credit for." he says. I don't talk, i just sit there on his lap, scared.

This goes on and on and on. 10 minutes, 15 minutes , 20, 45, then an hour that i'm on this mans lap. each tattoo has its own disturbing or arousing story. The last tattoo he shows me is the semicolon. He pauses for a second, staring at it for a good minute. I shift on him, cuddling him instead, caressing his stomach gently as he hides his wrist behind his back. "I had a manic episode. This was when i was 16. a year after my mother died, but the same day. I put gashes all over my body. i fucked myself up and...more." he spoke in a low voice. he was tired of this. and quite frankly, i felt really bad. but theres one tattoo he hasn't showed me yet. The lipstick mark. i placed my hand on it. "One more." i said. I can tell he was holding back tears. He wanted to hit me. I could tell.

"I had a nightmare." he said turning and looking me directly in my eyes. i felt strangled. Im scared.

"Alex Corvid."

what....? ..I never told him my last name. I never told him my fucking last name. WHAT THE FUCK?!

"..Are you going to hurt me?" i ask. Surprisingly, i get an answer instead of hands around my throat. "No, baby." He tells me, pulling me closer. His expression softens. "Im going to tell you about this tattoo. Then, i'm going to have sex with you."

I look at him, horrified. "You knew from the start it was us, didn't you? Who were you dating when you were 15? 13 years ago?" he says.

...What..?

he talks so casually, like this is just normal. I push him away, shaking. Im scared. Im so scared. what do i do. Who is this man?

...Then right before he speaks, it hits me. It took me awhile till i knew. When i was 15, i dated a boy. He called me AC, because he thought it was funny. A nickname. I never told anyone about that, or saved that information anywhere. I was 15, He was 17.

"How have you been, AC?" he says, laughing a little.

....Im going to fucking kill myself.