the stories of my life

Im confused...

There's a point in time where people figure out who they are I haven't made it there yet I'm almost there I think...

I hope I'm almost there because I hate feeling like this and lying to myself and lying to people around me.

I don't have crushes I don't "fall in love" at least not really I think I might have fell in love with a boy once but I guess I don't really know because I didn't know and don't know what love really is and what it's supposed to feel like.

I think I like a girl but I don't think she likes me so it's not worth it.

I think I'm a Greysexual/Greyromantic Pansexual which is so confusing to even say or even think about explain.

I love music and my cat and poetry and my friends/family and I love art and writing and coloring and drawing but I don't necessarily "love" some one in particular.

I've lied about liking people to hide these feelings so I have a list of people that I broke the hearts to...

I want to apologize to all of them, but I can't tell them the truth yet so I can't and it makes me feel more guilty.

I'm so sorry B
I'm sorry B
I'm sorry R
I'm sorry R
I'm so sorry J
I'm sorry A
I'm sorry P

I'm sorry I made you feel like shit, I'm sorry I lied to you, I'm sorry that you actually believed me, I'm sorry I said the words "I love you" even though I didn't mean it, I'm so so sorry I broke your heart but if it makes you feel any better you can take my heart so you don't drown in the problems I gave you.
Give all your problems and issues to me even if I didn't cause them because either way I'm going to drown with regret, guilt and saddness.