the stories of my life

Title

I love you, so so so much.
Thank you for bringing it to my attention that certain things I was doing were not good things and that they needed to change, but, I have some thing I need you to never say again because for most of what your wrote I was leaning almost over the edge, when you said that you doubted the fact I was gonna read the whole thing?

Why?

Give me one reason why I wouldn't read it.

And, every time you say you don't trust me?

I wanna scream, I wanna cry, it literally feels like when you say that I'm getting stabbed in the heart, I falter for a moment but you don't seem to realize that either, none of us are perfect I know that, I never said you said otherwise, I'm just saying the words,

None.
Of.
Us.
Are.
Perfect.

And honestly, all the suicide jokes I'm making during gym don't feel like jokes anymore.

I quite literally feel like jumping off a bridge, or in front of a train, I'm not scared of death. The only thing keeping me away from dying is knowing that you, my love, and the two others (you know who they are(S.M., A.S.))

I want to die.
I don't want to live this life anymore.

I'm not gonna change the world, I'm not gonna be famous, I'm not gonna fulfill everything that I want to in the world, so, what do I have to live for in my future?

I'm scared of marriage but I want to marry

I'm scared of being a bad parent but I want a kid

What the actual fuck do I have to live for other than you five (Alex, you, my love, Savannah and Aubrey)

Why don't you trust me?