Only Yours (PrapaiSky fanfic)

Chapter 8 - Not afraid (NEW VERSION)

Sky's Pov

Dreams were good, nightmares not that much, but unfortunately, those were the ones I experienced the most. They say you either dream about things you really want or about things that will never happen. As for nightmares, they are your worst fears, the things that come to mind when you think about what would be like a living hell. In my case, they are my worst memories—what makes me want to scream and tear my skin apart. 

"Hey... It's okay..." I hear a familiar voice say, "Sky, you're safe. Breathe in and then breathe out..." I do as the voice says, and only when I'm calm do I open my eyes to see P'Prapai. "It's okay, it's only me here." 

"I'm sorry." I say it almost as a reflex 

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He says it, and I can see the worry in his eyes
We stay in a kind of comfortable silence. A silence that, I'm pretty sure he'll end up breaking in a moment or two, but right now I'm enjoying it. 

"Do you have a lot of nightmares?" he asks 

"Define a lot?" I say, looking at the ceiling. "Everyone has nightmares; it's normal." 

"I didn't say it wasn't." P'Prapai says "But there is only so much one can take, and sometimes our mind is not that benevolent with us. Nightmares are normal, but screaming and almost panicking in your sleep isn't." he says, and I stay quiet. 

I know he is right, but what can I do? I'm not ready to talk about it, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be. I have hope that, after some time, the nightmares will stop. It's a foolish thought, but hope it's always the last one to die. 

"I don't want to talk about it." I say firmly, breaking the silence 

"That's alright. We don't need to talk. I just want you to know that I'm here to support you." I look down as he says this. He makes it really hard to picture him as just another one of those men, and after these last weeks, I can confirm he isn't like them, but I don't want to relax too much around him either. I don't know; I'm confused, and at the same time, I know I need to make a decision. "Are you hungry?" he says as he hears my stomach 

"I am." 

"It's almost time for dinner, but you also need to take your medications, so I'll go grab something light for you." He says and leaves, and only then did I realize he wasn't touching me. He had his hands behind his back; he wasn't touching me, I smile 

This is so strange. I never had someone to take care of me, but now P'Prapai is here, and he is doing just that. Maybe I'm letting my guard down too fast, or maybe this is going to turn out to be something shitty, but I want to feel loved. I want to feel what it's like to be desired for something more than just my body. I want and I deserve more, and I'm going to risk it this time because I can't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened if I had given him a chance. 

"Here," he says as he returns with some cookies and a glass filled with orange juice
I eat in silence while he stays in the room with me. I know he is observing me, but I don't mind it. 

"Can I ask you something?" He says a bit nervous 

"Yes." 

"It's about your nightmares." He says and puts the food down, "My uncle used to have a bunch of nightmares too, until his boyfriend came along and looked around for something to help him. While you were sleeping, I asked for the name of the pills, and I have a bottle with me..." 

"I don't take sleep pills." I say coldly 

"They are organic and natural. No drugs inside. It's a mix of teas." He says and shows me the little glass container where they were. "I'm going to leave it here. You can take them or flush them down the toilet."