Forgive me

Seven: Naps are healthy!

I'm walking in my house as my keys jingle, immediately I've noticed Meghan jolt up with concern as she walks to me, her face lighted to see me, or so I'm thinking that. She's very close with me so of course her well-being wants me to be alright, supporting me and caring for me, she's the one person I also trust with anything. Never once stabbed me in the back, ever, she let me talk to her about anything. So, I'm glad she's my best-friend but also her worry gets the best of her. 

"So what happened? Are you okay?" She questions twice at me as I look at her with a slow-maybe nod but she looks at me with disbelief, 

My bottom lip is being bruised by the tip of my teeth as I let them rest after-wards, what can I say to her? That I'm pregnant? She'll give me loads of questions I won't be able to handle right now, not when the news got pushed onto me. 

"I'm sorry Meghan, but, can I tell you once I'm feeling better?" I asked nervously, her face calmed as she rubbed my shoulder in a friend way. 

Her smile carried, "Of course Joey. Just—let me know once you're alright." Then I walk upstairs and into my room, shutting the door, and falling on the bed with my back. I'm staring at the ceiling worried, how am I going to tell my family? fans? friends? What will they think of me? Again, I'm stinging in my thoughts, carelessly waiting for the next minute of rejection. 

But, besides the negative aspects. I will love this baby. There will never be a day or second I won't, even if It was a drunken mistake, It's special to me. Only thing is, the father, I don't know who he is, and I can't go by a name Sean when I have no friends named that. My eyes darted down as my body lifted, the pain was slowing but it felt like little punches. 

Who's Sean? Why did he run away from me—like that? Now I'm pregnant with his baby and he don't know. I shake my head and look at my computer, I need to vlog and game at some point—my fans are probably losing their minds right now. I'll do that tomorrow or something, I want to take a nap, maybe stop thinking about the guy who fucked me drunk that night.

I get into my comfortable bed and rub my stomach lightly, my head against the soft white pillow, then my eye-lids closed. I'm faced with the dark and the warmth that's hugging me. 

"𝐇ey sleepy head!"

Meghan noticed me walk down the stairs. I'm still in my outfit from this morning. The projector was on playing a Disney movie. 

"Hi Meg." I replied yawning and stretching, then taking the last step looking at her now somewhat awake. 

"It's two o'clock right now; Me and David are planning to go to Fleming's Steakhouse," Her eyes were full of excitement but deep down, she seemed a bit anxious, It's easy to tell how she feels sometimes, 

That place is always busy but crowded, the food is okay but they mostly have meats or something big, I'm not a big eater, I just eat salad at times, "Okay that sounds nice for both of you. How long will you be out?" 

"Joey we want you to come!" I just look at her and tightly smiled, but keeping my secrets to myself. I'll tell them once I figure out a good time, but, now right now. 

David stands behind looking at us, "Alright. Fine. But, I'm probably just going to eat salad with rice on the side." He looks at me shaking his head before grabbing his keys, Chewie was hopping all over us barking, he knows we are about to leave.

"You can't just eat that, please eat something; like a real huge meal!"

David nods, "Yeah honestly—I'm not trying to pressure you, but you do need to eat something at-least."

Friends always are friends, they'll tell you what to do. Maybe It's out of care, they think I'm starving or hurting my system but I'm not. Eating big foods like that sometimes bothers me. I'm not sure why but It does.

"I get it guys," My voice tipped as I rub my stomach gently with care, "I'll eat something."

Afterwards we are heading out to leave.