Nora Kinkaid: The New Version

A New York Minute

Nora spent the first week of her time in New York laying on the couch and lying in bed. She spent the week after Thanksgiving visiting doctors who in varying ways told her that everything she was experiencing was caused by anxiety. They recommended medications, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, talk therapy. They told her to change her diet, remove processed foods, and change her workouts as if she was doing any of those anyway. One thing Nora realized, is that no one seemed to be listening to her.

"I don't understand." Nora lamented from her spot on Danielle's Reiki table. Her mom had dropped her off earlier in the afternoon. For some reason, Nora felt called to see her.

"Shh, take a deep breath in." She felt Danielle's hands call in the Reiki and begin to move over her body. She tried to relax into the familiar sensation of universal energy, meant to be entirely positive, spreading throughout her bones.

"How has Boston been treating you?"

"It's been okay." Nora's eyes fluttered as Danielle moved her hands to her forehead.

"Outside of this stuff it's been good. I'm dating a nice guy."

"Are you sure you're dating the right guy?" Nora fought the urge to open her eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just that when you think about him your energy completely dips. It just disappears from your body. Whatever happened to Ben?" Nora had told Danielle about Ben. She always seemed to favor him even though objectively speaking, Evan was the better man for her.

"Nothing happened to Ben. He still lives in Brooklyn. Still doesn't want kids. Besides, he never wanted me." Even though it hurt to say, it was the truth. She had tried to get Ben to want her like she wanted him but he never did.

"Nora, I'd strongly reconsider your future with Evan. When you talk about Ben, you light up. Do you have a picture of both of them?" It was an odd question to ask while Nora was horizontal on the Reiki table but she ignored it. She wanted to know what Danielle saw that she didn't.

"Um sure. Just hand me my phone." Danielle obliged and Nora squinted at the bright screen in the dimly lit room. She scrolled through her photos finding the only one she had of her and Evan. It was from Rob's party. They had used the photobooth that night. Each time Nora looked at it she thought Evan looked good but she didn't look like herself.

"Here's Evan." She gave the phone to Danielle who scowled back at her.

"Okay no. No way. You look nothing like yourself. How do you not see he's a bad match for you?" Nora took the phone back from her and began looking for a photo of Ben.

"I like him. He's kind. He's kind of boring but he's still a good man." Danielle cut her off.

"There are plenty of good man. What matters is if he is a great one. Let me see Ben again. I don't remember what he looks like." She reached for Nora's phone practically ripping it out of her hands.

"Yes, I remember now. Bright blue eyes of course. Yes Nora, you guys match beautifully. You have to see how you feel different around him than you do with Evan. I can't believe you're missing this." Nora felt shame swell around her. Had she been missing something Danielle could see so easily?

"I'm with Evan. I'm not going to ruin my relationship just because Ben is a better energetic match." She closed her eyes once again as Danielle placed her hands back on her forehead.

"You of course can do what you want but just remember, your relationship might not be worth saving considering you described him as boring and safe." Nora ignored the fact that she had been misquoted and hummed a sound of understanding despite not agreeing. As Danielle set back to work providing Reiki, Nora's third eye flooded with images of her and Ben. But they were new images, not lived experiences. She and Ben in the kitchen with their kids. She and Ben getting married. She and Ben in their living room. They all felt so real and yet Nora had never seen anything like it before.