Rant Book About W*sh

Untitled Part 1

I hate-watched Wish with my younger brothers a while back and I'd rather have my own biggest wish be kept from me than ever watch it again. 

OK SO. Let's get one thing out of the way, if you're not in the mood for negative energy and plan to comment ANYTHING about how I complain too much or am being too harsh, you know how to click off this book. I fully appreciate all the talented people who worked with what they were given, and the dry soil quality of this movie was entirely the studio's fault. I plan to be as constructive as I possibly can, at least at the end, and oh brother, I have a lot of improvements I could discuss. 

I can barely do a proper film synopsis because the plot was THAT un-memorable and confusing, but basically, this girl named Asha lives in a magical kingdom ruled by a powerful king who has the power to make wishes come true. On the day each person turns eighteen, they present their greatest wish to King Magnifico, who stores it until he decides to grant it. Until he grants it, the person cannot remember what their wish was. 

Asha, our generic Disney main character in a pretty but kind of plain purple dress and the Anna and Elsa face is about to turn eighteen herself, and is also applying for the position of the king's apprentice, because that's something any random citizen can do apparently. 

The only thing I like about Asha is her hairstyle, I think that's really pretty. Beyond that, she just seems kinda like a more boring Rapunzel but with no justification for being so ''hehe awkward'' all the time. She has a group of friends who are just kinda there to fill backgrounds and be a reference to the Seven Dwarves. Gabo, the one tolerable character in the film, is just a little ball of one-liners and mild angst, and as kind of fun as he can be, it's obvious that he's just an attempt to sponge money out of the teenagers who want sassy characters to make ''iconic'' compilations of, and that hurts me. 

They don't even bother merchandising Gabo or any character except Asha, the Star who comes later, and the goat whose name I don't even know or want to know. I've seen a few popup ads, a coloring book, and a doll, and that's it. It's so lazy, and yet you can tell the merchandising is the main thing Disney wanted from this film. 

Back to the synopsis, she interacts with her friends some, and then goes to visit the king. On her way, she has a musical number with the village about how great the king is, which my memory literally repressed, and then she just waltzes on into the castle. She messes with stuff and then gets caught off guard by the king.

He starts explaining how the wishes work to her, but when she finds out he purposely refuses to grant certain wishes because he doesn't think they're good for the kingdom, she gets upset, because apparently she automatically knows better than the man who's been ruling a clearly happy and thriving kingdom for years.

She tries to explain her perspective on how this is wrong, and Magnifico (who looks like the lovechild of Jack Frost and Colonel Sanders, by the way) lashes out at her for daring to talk back to him, the first red flag. You're supposed to feel bad for her in this moment, and I guess I kind of would if the movie had done a decent job getting me to care about these characters in general, but Magnifico overreacting and showing signs of a big ego over being told he was wrong has less impact when he's not wrong to begin with. Like yeah, he didn't have to yell at a teenager or tell her to leave, but the movie seems to want you to think that the good thing for him to do would have been to just blindly listen to her.