Mattheo Riddle [o.s]

loss of my life

            Julianna Rose

Love is one of the most fucked up things that can happen to someone, but yet, it can be so beautiful.

I never thought of myself as someone who would fall so foolishly for a person, so innocently and so blinded. I always thought I had control over my feelings, and that I could distance myself from someone before it was late and I would get too attached.

But it was already too late when I wanted to pull back from Mattheo. No matter how much I put my mind to it, my heart and soul would just not let him go.

When you fall for someone who you consider like family, it's very hard to accept it, but once you do, there's just no turning back. You find yourself being more soft towards that person, more worried, more caring. You notice that you don't treat them all rude and mean in a joking way like all friends do with each other, and that scares the shit out of you because it's when you realise, your heart has taken over your mind.

It's been almost a year since I started developing this sentiments for him, and I never thought it would be so difficult to just act normal with him and not like I'm falling so hard.

We have been inseparable since our first year. Our feisty attitudes is what made us likeable to each other. We were known as Mattheo and Julianna. Wherever I was, he was probably not far away than five feet. And to break such an iconic friendship because of my feelings just felt so wrong, so I made a promise to myself that I would never tell him.

Does he feel the same way? Most probably not.

But I have that small glimpse of hope that doesn't want to give up.

"Jules, snap out of it." His voice brings me back, my eyes falling on the starry night sky above us before turning my head to the left and looking at him.

"Hm? Sorry?" I say softly as I look into his mesmerising eyes that were illuminated by the moon, his skin shiny as gold.

"I said that we only have this year and the next one of sneaking out to the Astronomy Tower." A small smirk is on his lips, his arms crossed over the railing as he leaned part of his weight on it.

"Yeah...I'm really going to miss it." I let out a chuckle before looking back up to the stars. The Astronomy Tower was our spot. We loved to spend sleepless nights here, wether it was talking or sitting in comfortable silence enjoying the company of one another.

"I think we'll find our way to come back sometime." His voice has a hint of nostalgia. Something tells me that he will be missing this place more than he lets himself think. But then again, so will I.

"Already getting emotional? We still have over a year left." I tease him, my gaze on his as a soft spring breeze blows on his curly dark hair, his nose scrunching a bit when he smiles at my words, my heart pumping faster just at the sight.