TURNING RED 2 : White Code

Chapter 3 - Alone with myself

The night ends up passing much faster than expected and in the early morning I return to my parents before they leave for the office, I knock on the door and it's my mother who opens it, seeing me she looks quite embarrassed and doesn't seem to want to let me in, upon hearing my voice my father comes to the door with a furious expression, welcoming me with a "Are you deaf?!" We told you yesterday that we didn't want you anymore! You are no longer welcome here!" I realize that everything they said yesterday, they meant it, I feel like my world is falling apart in that moment. I knew my parents were intolerant people but to disown her and kick out their own underage son just because he's... different... and it goes on to tell me that there was no point in me going back to the high school because they had taken the necessary steps early in the morning to unenroll me from the establishment... paying for me is insane, you understand. So I'm going to have to fend for myself from now on on all fronts... I ask to at least have my things back and I almost get laughed in my face because they had already been thrown away or burned. In a single night, they managed the feat of destroying everything that belonged to me and kicking me out of my school, it really takes a lot of conviction to get to that point.... Hearing that , my tone starts to rise, of course I retort that I am their son and that they cannot do such a thing, and the response I receive is that they do NOT have a son... note the subtlety choice words... it's not MORE but NO son at all. From that moment on I no longer existed. The exchange ends with the fact that if I came back the police would be notified and that they know how to deal with delinquents... whereupon the door shuts with a sharp bang.

I'm stunned... I have nothing left, no family, no home... I don't even try to think about my friends because I already know in advance that later they will be forbidden to see me, in this world all families walk more or less the same. I don't know what to do... I don't know where to go... I'll sit in a corner out of sight and I cry... I cry all I can. My name is no longer Kōjō Shīrudo now it's Shīru... just Shīru. It seems like long hours go by while I ruminate on my anger and this feeling of injustice, I have the impression that the family history is repeating itself, of living the same story... except that there is one difference that I am sure of is that I will never become like them... Never! I end up calming down after a while and I try to regain my senses, firstly... I try to find a solution for accommodation, the first ideas that come to me are  youth centers or associations...but will my difference be accepted? Perhaps I should keep this to myself at first so my choice is towards the nearest youth center which is several kilometers away in the city that I cross with my hood on my head. After a while of walking I arrive at the landing and go to ring the bell when I am addressed from the other side of the street. On the sidewalk there is a young man about my age with an austere air who says in a nonchalant tone that where I want to go they won't be able to do anything for me, that it's just window dressing and that I'd be better off fending for myself. I remain suspicious of the individual, I ask him what he knows and he tells me that this is what happened to him like many other young people who are now his friends. I could have stopped there and knocked on that door until he told me that he and his friends could help me... much more than the youth center could... and who knows why but At that moment I found his words really very convincing and I said to myself that my case is really special or perhaps unique in its kind and that I would perhaps have a better chance of being understood. So I go down the stairs and cross the street to join him, telling him that I wanted to know more. When we are ready enough for our eyes to meet, I have the impression for a moment that he looks buggy when looking at me, I have often been told that my eyes are a very special blue and that they were captivating but I didn't think I would have an effect on a stranger of this caliber... but as I told you it was a very fleeting sensation which only lasted a fraction of a second, maybe I even imagined it. He tells me without a smile that I am making the right choice for the survival of my future, that he invites me to follow him and that his name is Chad. I'm not stupid, I know very well that it could be a trap and that a whole armed gang could fall on me... but at this point I don't really have anything to lose... at worst I would take out the tiger to fight... after all it would just be for defense, nothing bad. We walk in silence for a short while until we arrive at a sort of mansion, I am a little surprised at the destination until we pass through a hole hidden by vegetation in the surrounding wall which makes the tour of the property. He then explains to me that it is a squat, that the owner died last year and that the heirs have not yet taken over the house. Inside, some urban damage is visible but it remains very liveable. We go into the living room where around fifteen young people are, there is everything, goths, punks, rappers and others I don't even know what they are. Some are kissing, others are smoking, in short they seem to want to do what they want. Chad calls out to everyone saying that he found a new one that he was able to save from the system and that I was interested in joining the group. He introduced me, realizing that he didn't yet know my name, and asked me to show myself to everyone. So I take off my hood and introduce myself as Shīru. No one seems surprised about the color of my hair and they greet me in a monotone, I feel relieved not to feel weird. Chad explains to me how the community works... which I can't quite understand, he tells me that we live under a common roof but that it's every man for himself in terms of money. goods and food (his terms) but at the same time we have to help the community... it's very contradictory. Well, I tell myself it could be worse, at least I have a roof over my head, he then takes me upstairs to show me where I'm going to sleep, There are several of us sleeping in rooms, I call It's a dormitory so, being the last to arrive, I have a mattress on the floor. He leaves me alone time to get my bearings, welcoming me. The situation does not change much I have somewhere to sleep but I am still without resources, apart from the clothes that I have on me I have nothing except a few notes which miraculously lie in my pocket.

I spend the next week finding ideas to get by without having to do bad things... The Ideal would be for me to find a job, I have already spotted several offers that could suit me... but at the same time I would also like to be able to continue my studies... and I would have to find a new establishment. I don't spend a lot of time with the others in the "residence" as I call it, I'm either in my dorm or outside and they don't calculate either. At the end of this first week lying on my mattress the results are not great, I haven't yet found anyone who wants to take me on for work... and I'm starting to get hungry... I spent the little of money I had on instant noodles to last the week and I finished my last bowl yesterday. I wonder how I'm going to get out of this when I wake up from my torpor when the door suddenly opens and I instantly stand up. I see almost all the people living there on the doorstep, they are holding ropes in their hands, bottles with I don't know what in them, and lots of other things that I don't have time to go through be careful, one of them calls out to me saying "Hey Manga boy, (my hair... again and again) you've had enough rest, it's time for the welcome ceremony". I spend the next week finding ideas to get by without having to do bad things... The Ideal would be for me to find a job, I have already spotted several offers that could suit me... but at the same time I would also like to be able to continue my studies... and I would have to find a new establishment. I don't spend a lot of time with the others in the "residence" as I call it, I'm either in my dorm or outside and they don't calculate either. At the end of this first week lying on my mattress the results are not great, I haven't yet found anyone who wants to take me on for work... and I'm starting to get hungry... I spent the little of money I had on instant noodles to last the week and I finished my last bowl yesterday. I wonder how I'm going to get out of this when I wake up from my torpor when the door suddenly opens and I instantly stand up. I see almost all the people living there on the doorstep, they are holding ropes in their hands, bottles with I don't know what in them, and lots of other things that I don't have time to go through. be careful, one of them calls out to me saying "Hey Manga boy, (my hair... again and again) you've had enough rest, it's time for the welcome ceremony". I understand immediately that I'm going to have a tough time and that this is the kind of hazing, according to them it's a good exercise to prepare me for what awaits me outside. I must admit that I am a little afraid at the moment, I move back to the wall and I see them impatiently advancing towards me. I am sure that this kind of ritual must amuse them a lot. When they are close to me I can no longer contain my fear and I explode, freeing the tiger, I tell them to back off almost in a roar. Everyone looks at me in amazement. I instantly realize my mistake, I've barely been here for a while and I'm already revealing my nature. I take advantage of this moment of floating to resume my human appearance and sneak out of the room. I go down the steps four at a time to go towards the exit door of the mansion when Chad calls out to me from the upstairs railing, I am convinced that his words will be to invite me to leave given what I am, but I hear "Do you really want to leave us? Do you think returning to the streets is the solution? » I turn to him, not sure I understand where he was going with this. He goes down the stairs with the others who arrive shortly after and he approaches me and says, "So that's you?" » What does he mean... to my questioning look he explains to me that the legend of the Kōjō family curse is much less secret than my family thinks, from members of other branches of the family (potentially distant cousins) have told it everywhere, not taking it seriously, but that according to him the legends are not to be taken lightly, and that there is often a grain of truth behind it. He told me that as soon as he saw me in front of the shelter he had a kind of intuition. He encourages me to stay and not deny what I am or hide it, that with them I would have a family who would understand and support and who would teach me to live with this difference, I had not passed the rite of welcome but it's as if I had succeeded. It only takes one last sentence, just one, for me to feel liberated: "Show yourself as you are, show who you are. » It was at this moment that I decided that my real appearance would be the one with which I confronted my parents, ears tail and stripes visible, to the applause of the assembly