Naruto Oneshots/Headcannons

Sasuke × Reader × Naruto •Crackfic!•

*Crackfic*

Beware; This is sorta long... like almoat 4000 words,but i promise you iz funny af, i was trippin when i wrote this

At some point, you and your Conrad's were all arguing over how the teams would be split, and such, then next thing you know, your jumping down into the tree's tryna catch the treasure.
What, all three members of team seven were equally impulsive? Well they are.

L/n, Uchiha, and Uzumaki lurked on a wide branch staring down at the theft's hauling the treasure. Naruto on the right, Sasuke in the middle and Y/n in the left. Sasuke and Y/n watched intently as the horse with a box on its back rode by. Naruto on the other side had a knowing smirk.

You grin giggling under your breath. "So i guess we should set off that lightning barrel Kakashi-Sensei told us to" you say in a sarcastic tone.

Naruto jerked forward punching the air in feont of him.
"Nah, We could take em, what do you think Sasuke? Y/n? There just some low lives, they dont stand a chance! I say we ambush them" he roghly whispered. He peered over to his teammates that were nowhere to be seen. Dumbfounded, he jumps down following you and Sasuke.

Y/n and Sasuke both grabbed a handle of the box aggressive angry men storming from every side. Siddenly there was a loud noise, a crashing sound and Naruto was on top of the box.

"Naruto" you scowel. Two whip lashing chains cane crashing down and your tram began falling down a cliff, with a horse and a box of treasure. There were yells and then agressive blue blobs came flying down at you three. You each ducked and weaved until the box was jerked open and and the treasure came flying out.

With equal vigor, all three of you lunge at it in mid air, leaping over a canyon like maniacs. All three of you reach for it and almost grab it, you could feel it just brush against your fingertip, when one of those blue blobs got you, all three of you. You didnt think too hard into it, as you jerked back, grabbing it with your other hand, and falling into the rushing canyon.

You feel a your jawasoft breeze on your face follwed by a light wave in your feet. S shuddering, you sit up scanning for the treasure. Soon enough, Sasuke and Naruto began groaning and sat up as well. You and Sasuke begin to stand, feeling a pull. Naruto fells it as well standing and pulling as well. Silence echos across the area, and you all make eye contact breifly, each tugging toward your respective side. All your eyes go wide and you each let out shreiks of terror tugging for dear life.
"What in the Hell--" you begin swearing profusedly. Naruto was despritly trying to run away from you both and Sasuke was following Naruto's actions. After a while you start tugging as well, resulting in all three of you snapping back together roughly.

All three of your right hands had been stuck together by one of the blue blobs  you guys were dodging.

"Holy hell im gonna be stuck to you guys for the rest of my life..." you mutter out half jokingly. Sasukes attention jerks otherwise. "Wait a sec. Where's the treasure?" Another silence echos around. In panic you all three start dashing around, resulting in you all snapping together again. "Damnit..." you all groan. Sasuke groan's profusely. You slap you forehead and peel open your eyes after a while. And when your eyes open, they swing open. You jolt up running off dragging them both around. Naruto manages to get up and run alongside you, whilst Sasuke gets dragged around.

"I see it! The treasure!" You holler running full speed. Sasuke shouts swears, trying to stand. You both halt, Sasuke was pissed off, dusting himself. You pick it up and stare. "A...Teddy bear?" Sasuke looks at it, inspecting it throughly.  "Looks like somthing the feudal lords sister would own" he mutters. You look at all of your hands stuck together and get antsy tugging at it. "Now we have to figure out how to get seperated." They both nod.  After a series of attemps to seperate, all three of you stand at a waterfall. You each nod and jump down, the ledge that was supposed to seperate you guys instead almost drowns you three then tosses you all back up where all three of you are violated and then the water splashes into a heart.