Does It Feel Alright To Not Know Me?

1

AN: This idea just would not leave me. I have like the first 5 chapters written. I just need to go over them and edit. Also English isn't my first language so If you notice any spelling/grammar mistakes, point it out and I'll try to fix it. 

April 2007

Taylor Swift had it all planned out. She'll finish high school pack up everything she owns, move to Nashville, and get a record deal. She's been dreaming of doing just that since she was 14, begging her parents to take her to record labels or open mics to try to break out in the industry but they wouldn't do it. They couldn't justify moving the entire family on the whims of a 14-year-old no matter how talented they thought she was.

She had it all planned out and she had Travis. Travis who pumped into to her in the hallway of their high school on the first day of freshmen year and never let he go. Travis who has a scholarship to play football at the University of Tennessee that he was planning to accept as soon as he could.

Her parents of course thought she was being silly, they thought she should at least go to college while she tried to pursue music, but she wanted to focus on music and only music. College was a back up plan. She wasn't a complete idiot, she told herself she'll give it 3 years. If she doesn't make it, she'll go to college.

So, she had it all planned out and it was going according to plan. Until about 3 months before their high school graduation when she woke up for the 5th morning in a row and threw up in her en-suite bathroom and she knew that she fucked up all her plans.

The pregnancy test that she bought from the drugstore outside their small Ohio town was stashed in one of her bathroom drawers and she used it that morning, but it was only a formality at this point. She wasn't surprised when it read Pregnant 3+. She knew she had to tell Travis right away and she was scared to death how he'll react.

They haven't really talked about it seriously, their future. They've been together since they were 15 and they've joked about being together forever, she remembers days lying in bed with him dreaming about a future where she's a famous singer and he's taking the NFL by storm, the next great quarterback. They've never talked about kids or what it means to be actual adults. All their future planning centered around their dream careers.

She took a deep breath and dressed up. It was 8 AM, she could catch him before they were due to head to school, he only lived a few doors down and he should be awake by now, having breakfast. There was no use in prolonging telling him. He had to know.

When she made it downstairs, her mom, dad, and Austin were already in the kitchen having breakfast.

"Hey, I promised Trav I'd meet him this morning to go over some homework, I'll see you after school" she announced as she moved towards the door

"Honey, don't you want some breakfast first?" her mom said

"It's fine, I'm not that hungry, I'm sure the Kelce's have something if I do get hungry while I'm there " Taylor replied as she left the house.

She took a deep breath and started walking. It took about 5 minutes, and she was already in front of the Kelce house. She could hear a commotion inside the house and before she could even knock the door burst open and Travis walked out with the biggest smile on his face

"Hey! I was just going to come by! Guess what babe?!!" he exclaimed as he hugged her.

His smile was so contagious she couldn't help but smile "What?"

"I've got a late offer from the University of Cincinnati! Full ride! I get to play with Jason!" he said as he pulled back from the hug and her heart dropped, her plans evaporating right in front of her one by one.

"But Trav..." she whispered

"I know, I know, Tennessee but Tay I've always wanted to play with Jason and now I can, we were already going to be away from each other even when in Tennessee but..."

"Being 2 hours away from each other is a lot more different than being 6 hours away from each other" she interrupted

"Tay...." He sighed.

"I'm pregnant" she announced. She didn't mean for it to come out like that. She was planning on siting down with him and breaking the news slowly but everything that could've gone wrong this morning has gotten wrong. All her plans were crumpling around her, but she's always had him. He was always there when nothing made sense and now, he wasn't making sense.

She looked at him and he was frozen in place. The smile that took over his face when he opened the door had disappeared and he stood almost like a statue in front of her. And then he snapped himself out of it and started pacing back and forth in front of her muttering to himself before stopped and looking at her "Alright, we'll just go to the planned parenthood clinic, right?"

She closed her eyes, she was afraid of this, shaking her head "No" she whispered.

"Tay..." he was almost begging "We can't.... we're too young and... Cincinnati and Nashville... and your dreams"

"I'm keeping the baby" she whispered again with a tone of finality in her voice.

"I can't" he finally said after a few minutes "I can't be a dad Tay. I'm eighteen. I have my whole life in front of me."

She nodded her head, he eyes glistening, she wouldn't cry in front of him "Ok. Good luck in Cincinnati. I'm sure you'll be great Travis." She took a step back and turned around to leave

"Tay please, I love you, but I can't" he whispered, he could already see her body shaking, he knew she was crying and he wanted nothing then to pull her back into his arms and promise her to be there for her always, to be a man to drop down on one knee and ask her to marry him and they'll have the baby and live some happily ever after but he couldn't, he wasn't ready to be a father, he was just a kid himself, and as much as he loved her, he wasn't ready to get married either.

"Goodbye Travis" she whispered as she started walking away and he let her go.

That night, when everyone was asleep, Taylor quietly packed up a small suitcase with all her essentials, wrote a small note for her family and left the house she grew up in. she was already 18, she was just waiting for her high school graduation so she could leave with Travis but now that was not an option anymore and there was nothing keeping her in Ohio. She knew her mom and dad would try to force her to get rid of the baby before anyone could find out. She loved them and she knew they loved her to some extents, but they also cared about their reputation and their standing in their community a bit too much and having their teenage daughter be pregnant out of wedlock would be frowned upon.

She took a bus from Ohio to Nashville that night. "I'll just be me and you Ducky, we'll make it work" she whispered to her nonexistent bump when she the bus started moving out of the depot.

Taylor Swift had he whole life planned out to a tee until the universe decide to throw a wrench in her plans one morning.