Lies Of Regret: A Regretevator Fanfiction

Tidy Up (Infected/Lampert)

The IKEA floor, home to the germophobic being known as Lampert. He was cleaning, as per usual, when his phone on a nearby table made a DING sound to alert him of a notification. He put down his cleaning rag and picked it up, activating the device to look at the notification. It was a text from Infected... Lampert clicked on the notification to quickly open the texting app to read it.

🤧- y0 br0sk1 U l1k3 cl3an1ng an $tuff, rite? (yo broski you like cleaning and stuff right?)

💡- Yes, I do, why?

🤧- $0 l1k3, u'd b3 up 4 h3lp1ng m3 cl34n my 4p4rtm3nt, r1t3? (So like, you'd be up for helping me clean my apartment, right?)

Lampert read the barely legible message and sighed lightly before typing in a reply replying.

💡- Sure. What time should I come over?

🤧- 1dk w0uld 2:30 0r s0m3th1ng w0rk? (Idk would 2:30 or something work?)

💡- Yeah, that's fine. See you there.

🤧- $w33t! Cy4! (Sweet! Cya!)

The humanoid lamp closed the texting app and looked at the time on his phone. It was 1:30 pm, so that would give him almost an hour to prepare. Most of that hour that he decided to keep cleaning, redoing what he had already done due to having gotten distracted. He moved from various different sections of furniture and utilities, cleaning thoroughly, stuck in a cleaning trance until his phone buzzed with another notification, causing him to pause scrubbing the inside of a sink to pick it up... It was merely another bothersome notification for a mobile game. Specifically a cleaning and organizing mobile game, since Lampert had quite a few of those. He swiped it away without a second thought and checked the time. 2:20. After staring at it for 4 seconds, he realized he was supposed to start heading over to Infected's apartment.

Hastily finishing the scrub job on the sink and grabbing some cleaning supplies to bring over, Lampert quickly ran around for the IKEA's exit and left to begin the walk to the apartment building. He was a pretty fast walker, although it was mostly because he had to be quick in order to reach the exit doors before they disappeared. Checking the time again and pocketing his phone, Lampert sped-walked to the apartment building that he knew was where Infected lived. As he approached, he could look up and see the glitched and missing textures on the side of the building which he instantly knew was Infected's. He almost winced at the sight... Glitchy and missing texture areas were probably extremely contaminated with disgusting germs and bacteria! Gross. He wishes he could fix it, but Infected's mere presence would make it begin to glitch again. He wishes he could fix him...

Regardless, Lampert entered the slightly aged building, taking the steps up to Infected's floor, although not even close to daring to touch the railings on the ascent up. Stopping in front of the door, he gently knocked thrice on the wood with the knuckles on his free hand, as to avoid touching it directly. "Hello?" He called out, before the door was swung open and he was greeted with a familiar face housing a big grin. "DUD3!!!1!!1 $up! C0m3 0n 1n!" Infected greeted as the door was opened wider and Lampert stepped inside, immediately noticing the giant mess everywhere. Presumably dirty clothes were scattered like pollen across the floor, which was also equally littered with plastics, unidentifiable stains, and items that weren't placed in any particular area... Oh boy. This was going to be a long evening. It seemed like an appropriate 'You live like this?!' moment, although the only way to remove the mess was by cleaning up.

Lampert did a double take before setting down some of the cleaning supplies he'd brought with him. "I'll start by picking up all this... gross trash... off the floor. You can use the supplies and clean those stains on the glass door." He instructed, promptly point to the supplies and the strange orange stain on one of the glass doors that led to the balcony. "4lr34dy? W311, cl34n1ng 15 wh4t 1 45k3d f0r. 0k4y!" Infected shrugged and reluctantly swiped the items and approached the stain, having wanted to chit-chat for a little, but he knew what he signed up for. He was half sure the mysterious stain was from orange juice and the other half sure it was from a soda. Unfortunately, his memories were too fuzzy to tell which it was, and from past experience, smelling unidentified stains is not a good idea. Infected watched as the other went to work right away, picking up various trash pieces and bringing them to the closest trash can. Lampert was visibly cringing every time his hand made contact with the disposed items, looking like he had just done the whole world a justice when it dropped into the bin.

Infected stared at the dried orange blob for a second, before attempting to spray it with cleaning supplies and wipe it off with a rag. Fruitlessly, his effort was in vain as the stain wasn't removed in the slightest. Maybe it would work if he tried again... Nope. The rag ignored the spot every single time it was wiped over. Puzzled, he looked back at Lampert, who was fast at work. It would probably be better to leave Lampert alone. Sure, Infected needed help, but was he really about to ask for help because he couldn't wipe a single stain? That would be pathetic, even by his standards. With a new found determination, he glared back at the stain and sprayed it about six times. This time, the rag roughly glided over the stain, but with a few more tougher swipes, it slightly chipped at the bottom, weakening the whole stain. It fell apart much quicker, all the pieces being caught in the rag as the former stain left a slight outline of where it was with dust collected on the glass door. "Y35!!1!" He victory-cheered, catching a curious glance from Lampert which was followed by a playful eye roll and small smile to himself.

((Timeskip bc I'm lazy and you've had enough filler for one chapter))

Finally, the apartment was clean. You could practically hear the imaginary comedic sparkles proving how clean it became... Although it was Lampert who did about 98% of the work with a bit of Infected's moral support. Wiping away a sneeze, Infected spoke almost in disbelief at how different the apartment looked. 🤧 "Dud3, th4nk5 4 l0t! Y0u'r3 th3 b35t!" 💡 "No problem, I'd be happy to help clean anytime." The other replied with a gentle smile, rightfully proud of his achievement today. Infected held up his hand for a fist-bump, remembering how Lampert said it was more preferred to him than a high-five since at least he wouldn't be directly touching someone's palm. He wasn't sure why he cared to remember that detail, but if it was the preference of someone he liked hanging out with, he could comply. Lampert happily accepted the fist-bump with a grin. "See you some other time, then. Bye. Also, you can keep the cleaning supplies." "R34lly?! Th4nk5, cy4!" And with that, Lampert left the apartment.

He sped-walked all the way back to the IKEA. Today was a good day, he got to clean with the nearby company of a (soon-to-be-boy)friend- (uh cough did someone say something? Not me.)

(A/N: So sorry this took so long! I just lost motivation and it kept slipping my mind to keep working on this! [ADHD go brr])

(USE THIS TO SUGGEST IDEAS OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE!! [Criticism welcomed if you have any advice for me!, as long as you are nice about it.])