The Collaboration

Just me

"Are you nervous? Excited?", Jeff asks. "I can't believe this is happening, I am so hyped for tonight"

Harry is seated on one of the backstage sofas of his concert venue, putting his rings on.

He stares at Jeff raising his eyebrows and chuckles at his enthusiasm.
He can feel the tingle of his own excitement building on the tip of his fingers already.

"You made it happen, thank you", he tells him earnestly. Jeff nods.

"You can thank me later, maybe with a nice bottle of wine to celebrate", he winks, "now we need to get this going".

Jeff phone vibrates in his pocket and he takes it out to read a message, "she is here" he says.

"You know Jeff, you never told me what you said to her, to convince her to do this", he asks casually, smiling.

"Me?", he says, still looking at his phone, scrolling through last minute messages, "I didn't have to say anything. She called. Her team had picked up on what we were trying to do and she offered".

He did not expect that, and he freezes, processing the new information, and what it means.

They have grown closer to each other in the past weeks. He had found himself trusting her, and sharing more than he ever did with anyone else.

He had also been thinking of her way too often during his days, looking forward to their calls, and falling asleep and waking up with her in his mind. He had even gone as far as to venture into the possibility of them being together again.

The door opens then interrupting his thoughts, and she walks in.

Jeff greets her briefly before excusing himself, "guys sorry, VIP section drama. Will come back to get you", he says pointing at Harry as he leaves.

"Hi!" Taylor says standing in the middle of the room, smiling excitedly at him, who remains frozen in place.

She has her hair down, in messy waves. She is wearing denim shorts, white trainers, and one of his white new merch t-shirts tucked in.

She notices he is still staring blankly at her.
"Too much?", she says wide eyed pointing at her t-shirt with both index fingers, and looking at the print of his face profile on it,  "I got carried away".

He loves her.

It hits him like a punch in his stomach. He loves her still, with all his being, and damn, he is upset with her.

He frowns.

"I can get changed", she offers, still referring to her choice of outfit, oblivious to everything that is going on inside of him.

"why didn't you tell me?", he asks, standing up and pacing away from her.

"It's just a t-shirt", she replies confused, "I thought you'd like it".

"About all this!" he says suddenly turning around to face her, "Jeff didn't call you, you called".

He is upset, she can tell now that is what is going on.

"Do we have to do this now?"

"Yes!" he replies emphatically, "we have to because we never talk anything through".

"We do", she says, hoping to change the subject to a different argument.

"See, you just did it then", he says, gesturing at her.

"What does it matter?", she tries, avoiding his stare.

"It does, damnit!" he says, "because it's all and everything the same with you. You go behind the scenes, pull your strings, click your little fingers and everything goes as you plan", he runs a hand through his hair, his voice rising, as he gets more frustrated with her.

"It was like this then, 10 years ago, and it is the same now: not today Harry" he starts, mocking her voice and accent, "I don't want to talk about it", "I can't stay, change your plans" "it doesn't matter, forget about it", he stops to swallow hard, "it's always you calling the shots, never saying what you mean, it's just mind games, and I can't take them anymore!".

He turns away from her running his hands through his hair.

"Wow", she says defensively, refusing to take in a word he has just said, "where did that even come from?".

He turns around then and takes a step towards her, "it comes from I don't want to be your puppet for whatever plan you have concocted in your head this time", he takes another step towards her.

"My puppet? my way? " she argues back then. He is cornering her and she does not like it.
"you mean like that time you basically left me stranded on an island on our first holidays together?"

"you left", he defends himself

"you kicked me out!"

"I was scared!!" he shouts back, surprising himself.
And he turns around from her, hoping to soothe his nerves.

Why had they never talked about this before?.

"You shut me down", he says calmly, "and it didn't matter how hard I tried, I know I was shit at it", he says turning around to face her again, "but I did try", he says  patting his chest with his hand, "I tried for us, but there was no way back in with you".

"Harry", she whispers, lost for words, appeasing him.

He wants to finish what he has started, and for once he is going to let this out.  He had bottled it all up for so long, and it had festered into resentment.

"I even bought that stupid house in LA to feel closer to you", he gestures pointing out, and chuckles sadly.
"I hated it there, cos I knew you were right next door despising me, and still, there was no other place I wanted to be, Taylor"

His eyes are shining, and he is just sadly smiling, laughing at his own fate. "And you know, all I kept thinking about was, how come my whole fucking world is shattering here, and she just does not give a shit", he shakes his head lightly, resting his hands on his hips as he looks down.

"But I did, I do", she says quietly. I do, you idiot, she keeps thinking. I never stopped caring. But she cannot simply say it, so her weak attempt to reassure him goes unnoticed.

"Why are you here, Taylor?" he sighs, frustrated, "what is this all about?", and he grills her with his eyes then, his jaw tight.

They hear a knock on the door.

"Everything ok?", It is Jeff who has probably heard the shouting and did not want to interfere.

Harry wonders how much he has heard, "5 minutes, Harry" he says through the doors.

He looks emotionally drained. "I have to" he says, gesturing towards the door.
She doesn't say anything and he starts walking towards it. She stops him halfway, touching his arm.

"I do, that's why I am here, for you", she swallows tears, feeling vulnerable, "there is no masterplan, just me", he stares at her, reading her face, "it's just me", she whispers.

The door flings open then.

"C'mon now" Jeff says looking at Harry, he is in full panic mode, as he grabs Harry by his shoulders, guiding him out of the room, as he steals glances back to her and her moved expression.

"We will come get you in time for your set", Jeff adds looking at Taylor, "please, be here", he pleads for her to not leave.