Flicker ~ newt

9. We are survivors

Authors note.
Hi my lovely's this chapter has taken me a while to write and I do apologise and appreciate all of you for being patient with me.
If your someone who enjoys Listening to music while reading I suggest listening to ocean eyes by Billie eilish for the first half of the chapter then when it changes (you will know when) run boy run is my recommendation for the intensity of it. side note I'm absolutely in love with Elaine she is my spirit animal! Anyway it's a bit of a long chapter today so get ready x

Elaine

My mind if so full. I feel pain and love and hate and it's so confusing.

Part of me wants time to move on from all this.

But the bigger part of me knows I need to stay. To look after my boys and to get them- us out. I've been thinking a lot of my dreams, they are so vivid and real but I don't know how they got there. No one else remembers anything, so why do I?

And Newt.. I care about him so much, he makes me feel so safe and I'm positive now that I knew him before all of this. And we kissed. Me and Newt. I still can't wrap my head around it, the way he held me the way he looked at me. He makes me feel seen and heard and looked after. I want to know everything about him. I want to know what makes him tick, how his brain works, why he has a limp.

"Hey El!" I jump looking around me a smile spreads across my face as I see my two second favourite boys.

"Hey Chucky hey Miles!" I say as they take a seat on each side of me.

"We wanted to tell you how sorry we are about Ben." Said Miles a lump forms in my throat but I swallow it down.

"It's okay thanks for saying that Miles." I smile it's a little forced and I think they can tell.

"How's your neck?" Asks Chuck pointing at the wound.

"It's so itchy!" I say "I've had to keep busy so I don't stand around all day picking at the scab." I complain.

"Does it hurt?" Thats miles I turn to him.

"Not really actually it's gotten all scabbed up so it doesn't hurt to touch."

"Can I touch it?" I snort loudly making people turn and look at us but I don't care.

"Uh sure." I say both boys instantly reach out poking the skin.

"Does it hurt when I poke it?" Asks chuck he seems so curious about it.

"Only a little." I say they take their hands away after a while. "What are you guys up to this morning?" I ask them turning back to my breakfast that I had until now forgotten about.

"Cleaning obviously. what did you think." Chuck says sombrely.

"Well I'm helping the builders today." Miles says puffing his chest out.

"Oh? Why's that?" I ask an eyebrow raised.

"I threw up a clunck ton yesterday because of cleaning the outhouses. They think I'm to sensitive to work in the muck all day so they are letting me retry for jobs." He gets to his feet. "Gally's calling me so I should get going see you guys later!" He throws over his shoulder as he walks away from us.

"You guys look really similar, I mean like your a girl but same hair colour and skin colour. Same eyes too." Chuck thinks out loud. "Whatever... what are you doing today?"

"I'm going to go see Jack and Clint then I'm going to get to work." I say "speaking of I should probably get going too." I grab my bowl taking it to frypan at the counter. "Bye chucky!" I call already on my way across the field.