That Night Everything Fell Apart #Wattys2016

IX. Hope

It has been one week since I've been here at the Beach House with them. Since then I was thankful that at that span of time, I haven't received a text or call from Mom about my father going hysterical and drunk again. I, too, didn't make a call or texted them. It's because want them to think that I am enjoying my summer so much that I couldn't even communicated with them. I don't want Mom to think that I worry about them since that'll only cause her to think of me. I want her to think only of them in there. Of Seann, especially.

"You should call them, Becks. Stop staring at your phone." Aliza pulled me out of my train of thoughts by nudging me.

"I can't, Liz. You know why." I answered. I put my phone on the drawer of my bedside table.

"Yes, I do. But look at you. You are worried about them. They haven't called you since, right? I don't want you to get the wrong idea, Becks. But your Mom might be thinking the same way as you."

"Maybe. I don't want to sound so hypocrite. But that doesn't mean I don't worry about them at all. I just guess it is better this way, Liz. We've spent so much time worrying about these kinds of things. I just want them to worry about themselves. And not me."

"Yet you end up worrying about them and yourself. You're my friend, but sometimes I don't know how your mind works. You're way too selfish."

"That one came from you. Coming here was selfish." I sighed.

"No, that's not what I meant, Becks. What I'm meaning to say to you is that, you wanted to bear the weight yourself. That's so selfish of you. It's not that bad to share the load with someone else. Let alone your family. I know how hard it has been for you and your family. Keep in touch with them, Becks. That's the only way that you'll be able to lessen the weight."

I sighed. Aliza was right. It's my family we are talking about. Maybe I should call them later.

"Turn that frown upside down, sister. Do you want to come with me later?" Aliza asked.

"Where to?" I asked.

"Wayne's house." She answered.

"You want me to film you while you're doing it?" I joked.

"Gross! No! It's his birthday. He asked me to invite you guys." She answered.

"Party? That only means, getting dressed up, getting drunk and coming home late again. I guess I'll pass." I answered. I headed to my drawer to get clean clothes.

"What? You can't! Andi and Kyle said they're coming." She said.

I paused. "Kyle?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah. Andi said Kyle said so himself." Aliza said. "I was surprised, myself too."

"What time would it be?" I asked eagerly.

"You're coming?" Aliza's face lightened up.

"What time?" I asked again.

"Around 6 later. But we have to be there by 5." She answered.

"I didn't say I would come." I said. I took my clean clothes and headed to the bathroom door. "Don't wait for me here. Go eat lunch first." I said before closing the bathroom door.

I leaned by the door, and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I'm currently looking at the girl in the mirror who seemed like she's ready to bear the weight of the world and replace Atlas. I'm only eighteen and the problems that I am facing right now and are about to face sounds terrifying. At this young age, I have got no other choice but to stand up each time I fall. I have to muster up the courage to face it all and come out looking strong. I can do that and repeat it countless times until I wouldn't have to fall. Yeah, I can do that, right? You can do it, B.