𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 | Faye Yoko

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 5: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

September 2018, three months after the dreams had stopped. Six years from the present.

I never imagined that I would reach a point where I would need to consult a therapist, especially considering that I am a psychiatrist myself. I should understand what is happening with me. Yet, here I am, about to step into my colleague's office, not as a co-worker, but as a patient.

I truly don't know how to feel about myself. There’s a part of me that wants to laugh off my situation, but this is a serious issue, one that has deeply affected my life. Because of that dream,  I've become someone I hardly recognize. I wish I could feel frustrated with myself, but I can't even feel that emotion. The ability to distinguish between dreams and in real life has become a struggle, casting a shadow over everything I do. Seeking help is the best thing that I can do right now.

I just hope that this decision to seek help will not be a talk of the month among other departments.

Faye, this is it. Nothing bad will happen. You're completely normal.

"Oh! Faye! What brings you here?" Charlotte said with genuine surprise on her face, as I entered the softly-lit room. Charlotte and I have always shared a casual friendship, thanks to her being in a relationship with my best friend.

Before I sat down, I answered with hesitation "Ice's appointment is for me."

"What's the hesitation for? Don't be scared, Faye. Just talk to me casually." Charlotte replied with a smile on her face.

I simply stared and smiled back to her as a response with what she said.

"Do you want me to start the conversation?" Charlotte asked, maybe she saw my hesitation since earlier.

"No, I can do it." I replied suddenly, bravery is what I got with her words. I'm the one who needs her guidance, and that's why I need to be the one who initiates this.

"This may be a little awkward but, can you please believe me?" I couldn't help but to ask that question.

"What are you on, Faye? Of course I'll believe you! I'm here to give you guidance. I'm here as your therapist." Again, she gave me a calming smile.

"I know that this may be a little hard to believe but.." Oh God, Faye, why do you keep on saying this?! Just say it!

"I had a dream that have gone for almost a year." I said while tapping my index finger on my knees. Should I stop this? I look like a freak.

"And what about it Faye? Tell me more. Stop the hesitation— I swear, I'm here to listen." She said reassuringly.

"It's actually quite odd; it's like lucid dreaming, but much lighter because it's not scary." I explained, feeling more at ease now since I sensed Charlotte would understand me.

"The same dream for almost a year, am I right?" She looked at me straight in the eyes.

I nodded my head as a response. "I know that it's hard to believe but—

I was cut off by with what Charlotte said "Come on Faye— I truly believe in you so please stop saying that it's hard to believe. Nothing will be hard to believe for me because anything is possible," Charlotte said with encouragement.

"Okay, again, besides that.. I can completely talk. Lucid dreaming right?"

"Hmm." She said, maybe letting me know that she's all ears.

"Also with that, talking like just having a normal conversation with friends is a thing there. It's not just the same dream, but also with the same person." I continued, opening up about the experience I had been hesitant to discuss.