𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. duan jiaxu au !SLOW UPDATES

five. the next day- crying in the convenience store

— five. the next day- crying in the convenience store

[ 09.21.2018 ]

The next day came pretty quick. After my second encounter with Chen Zheyuan, I started to feel extremely tired. Then I remembered that I shouldn't be pushing myself physically since the body I was in was still sick. It took me some time to head back to the library and when I got back, I immediately sat down on the wheelchair before leaving the place and heading back to my hospital room. I was then met by my nurse who helped me back to my bed and the second my head met the pillow, I fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, I remember dreaming of the night before I came into this reality. Seeing Ryan again, even though it was a dream of my memory from my world, made me feel less anxious and a bit safe as I encountered our last moments together. Then the dream ended and I was back in the waking world. The room was no longer dimmed as the sunlight visited me in the hospital room through the big windows. The curtains were pushed aside and I could hear my grandmother and older brother talking from the couch across from my bed.

"I'm worried about your sister, Junhui," Nana spoke in a quiet tone, believing that I'm still asleep, "I know you're busy with your own life, but your sister still needs you. I'm not always at home because of work, and as much as I wish to cut down my shift, I can't because the restaurant lost two of its part-timers."

I almost forgot that Nana still owns our family restaurant.

It's been years since I last heard her talk about it. I suddenly miss the roast duck and hotpot she'd used to bring home after work. I wonder if she still does it in this reality. Maybe I could ask later?

"I'll see if I can move out of the dorm and come back home," Jun said as I heard him sigh before speaking up.

Move out of the dorm? He can't do that, right? He lives all the way in South Korea and he is an idol. He can't just up and leave because of me! What about the other members? Don't they have a new album they're working on? Isn't that why they had their photoshoot yesterday? Jun can't back out of this comeback- Oh, God, the fans will surely be disappointed!

Then just as I was about to sit up and protest, I froze when hearing what my older brother said next.

"I can take a leave from college and continue the next term. After all, the new term just started, I can back out from my classes and still get a refund of the tuition."

What is he talking about?! College? Jun-ge is a college student?! What about Seventeen? What about being a K-POP idol? Don't... don't tell me he isn't one in this reality???

The thought of my brother not being a K-POP idol suddenly scared me. Things in this reality were not making any sense and as much as I want to stay and figure a way out, I actually want to run away from here. They may be my family but nothing feels familiar between me and my grandmother and Jun. All that I could think about is my best friend and wonder where he was.

We both made a wish on the same star the other night so why isn't he here with me? Is he... is he in another area of the city? How can I even get to him? Would he also not be a famous person in this reality? If not, then it would be hard to find him online. Sure, there would be an account with the name of Ding Yuxi and a 50-50 chance of it being him, but what if JUST WHAT IF he isn't the Ding Yuxi I know? What if Ryan never came here with me and it's just me stuck here?

There were so many what if's and negative feelings rushing through me that I've forgotten my grandmother and older brother were in the room. Tears were forming in my eyes as the anxiety started to gnaw its way back in. I guess I've been so dependent on my best friend that I now can't function well without him. Everyone in my life, even my family, have all been busy living their own lives then there's me stuck, literally stuck, that I can't move without my wheelchair and can't do normal things without someone's help.