𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐲 | 𝐭𝐨𝐣𝐢 𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨

¹⁴ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞.

song reccs: flawless by the nbhd, tough by lana del rey, and idea 7 by gibran alcocer.

—

     Tension is palpable among the air the morning next.

    Questions plaguing my mind.

    How can I face you after all this?

    Fuck.

    After everything, how can I tell you that you've become a desire I'm frightened to come close? A desire I ache to parch?

    How can I tell you that I am restless to grasp what your flames offer? How can I even begin to describe what I feel around you, when every word I use to write the feeling is fraught with danger?

    These feelings ebb beneath my skin, beneath my bones - within the pits of my stomach, like a desperate plea to soothe my wounds. Claws onto my conscience as I try to stay away from you, from what I crave the most.

    Because if we ever came any closer, I fear I would extinguish your flaring flames. Dim your lights. Take from you, that spark and never return it back.

    So, I attempt to stay away. As away as the distance of words can take me.

    "Good morning..." You say, voice a mutter as you have your breakfast. You gaze up, a small smile on your lips. You sit by the dining table, news paper in your hand as you skim through it.

    My gaze falls at you from the kitchen.

    I nod in reply, making my way to the stove to cook for myself and some for Megumi.

    Megumi plays with his dogs in the living room, giggling and playing about and you quietly eat your food.

    I look over at you furtively, and find my heart skipping a beat.

    Your eyes fall at your plate as you fold the paper and set it away. And my eyes gage at you. Adressing every ridge of your face, every dip and color or your skin, the flutter of your lashes against each other, the crease that forms at the corner of your lips as you chew.

    I stare, as subtle as I could get with my gaze.

    And when you look up, catching my eyes, I see your flames.

    Dull, empty — barely there.

    It pulls at my heart.

    "Yesterday," I clear my throat, urging to ease my nerves. "My phone died. I was out of city for some business."

    You nod, lips pulling to a faux smile. I look away, to dodge your gaze.

    "Yeah, it's fine. You're okay."

     I nod my head, avoiding your eyes.

    We're quiet, sounds of the house being cleaned, the birds, Megumi's giggles and the dogs resonating around.

    But you and I — there's a stagnant still of words between us.

    As if a skeleton of speech lays within our throats, no voice to flesh them away.

    I plate my food, taking a seat parallel to yours on the big table.

    "Um..." You start, the unsaid words thick in the air, "I'm leaving early today, you wanna come with me? I'll wait, if you want." You say, quiet of your mischief, silence hanging onto your tone, voice a muttering breath. Tone so small, like a puzzle never meant to fit.