A Double Suicide

Chuuya (2)

I hate this place and shitty Dazai. I sat at the desk with yet another stack of paper work, this one was larger than the last one. That stupid blonde haired guy, Kunikida said that it's punishment for being over an hour late, but that's not even my fault! Shitty Dazai said nine! I swear I'm going to strangle someone if I don't die from alcohol poisoning first. Dazai was awfully quiet as he watched from the corner of the room while I continued through the papers.
"You know, you could help rather than just watch!?" I snapped as he continued to stare at me, Stupid bandage waste. I'm going to kill stupid Mori for agreeing to this shit when I get back, I don't care what Ane-san says. I then angrily began to resume the paperwork, I hate this stupid shit. I quickly took notice that Dazai was walking towards me, rather than the usual fake shit eating grin he wore, he had a plain monotoned expression that was just simply cold.
"What do you want Mackerel!?" I growled angrily. "Slug, do you mind standing up for a second?" He asked, a simple monotoned voice rather than the fake cheerful one from earlier this morning. "In case you can't see, I'm doing some shitty paperwork! So no-" I told him, slightly aggressively in hopes that he'd get the message and fuck off. "Chuuya, be a good dog and listen to your owner." Dazai said coldly as he placed a hand on my shoulder, most likely to prevent me from using my ability or to try and intimidate me. I scowled at him but reluctantly stood up, he was clearly planning something. Dazai then took my place and sat down at the desk. "Oi Shitty Dazai! What the hell do you think you're doing!?" I shouted irritatedly, then before I could register what he was doing, he grabbed my arm and pulled me over into his lap. "Dazai what the fuck!?" I Shouted, as he placed an arm around my waist and with the other reached around me for a pen. "We have work to do." Dazai said simply as he placed the pen down and took a portion of the stack of paper work. "Get to work Chibi." He order coldly as he then began to fill out the portion of paperwork he had taken off to the side. I hesitantly began to resume the paperwork, despite how weird this situation was.
We both continued working through the paperwork at a faster rate, suddenly I paused as I looked around the Agency. "Uh... Mackerel, your co-workers are staring..." I informed him as I saw the typical detective guy, Ranpo sitting on top of a desk with a smirk on his face as if he knew something I didn't. The tall blonde haired guy, Kunikida was staring his eyes wide he seemed to be at a loss for words.
Then the purple haired girl who stood in between the two of them was simply observing us, with a cup of seemingly wine in hand as she turned to an orange haired guy who watched us with a miserable frown. Dazai didn't look up he simply said in a stern tone, "Back to work Chuuya." I then let out a small sigh and began to resume finishing paperwork."You owe me so much money." Yosano the purple haired woman told the orange haired guy, Tanizaki. Dazai paused upon hearing her say this and he then asked, "Hm? And what was this bet on?" Chuuya had a feeling that Dazai already knew due to a slight hint of irritation in his voice. "The two of you." The orange haired guy said miserably. I froze at this and then as if on cue, Kunikida began to scold Dazai. "Unacceptable! That is a port mafia executive!" He said sternly and angrily.
I looked back at Dazai only to see him glaring coldly at his co-worker.
I then began to clarify, "We're not gay if that's what you're trying to imply-" I was cut off as Dazai in his disgustingly painful fake cheerful and energetic tone interrupted me. "Come on Chibi, there's no need to be like that!~" I glared at him irritatedly. "What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" I angrily shouted. Dazai smirked sadistically, I knew what this meant he was up to something that would probably end up causing trouble for me later. My eyes widened as Dazai leaned in closer to me, "Dazai what the hell!?" I said as he then kissed me, in front of the entire Armed detective agency. "Be a good dog Chuuya, back to work now." He told me before he then resumed the paperwork as if nothing had happened. I was stunned as I quietly went back to the paperwork, unsure of what to say. How would I explain this to Mori or Ane-san later, what would I even say!?
"At least he's doing his work for once, maybe having that executive around is a good thing." Chuuya heard Kunikida bitterly grumble as they continued working on the paperwork.
Why would Dazai do this? What was he playing at? Surely he's trying to do something since he's trying to convince his coworkers that he's gay for some reason.
I continued on the paperwork when Dazai did another unexpected thing, he leaned on me and rested his chin on my shoulder.
"Come on Chibi, I've finished mine already so hurry up!" He complained in a dramatic manner. I looked at the paperwork realizing I only had a few more papers left.
I continued working on them and quickly tried to finish the paperwork, not because of Dazai but because my hand was beginning to hurt. "You know, Mori's going to kill you if word gets out about this." Dazai said in a seemingly absent minded tone, I knew better than to think he was actually saying this absently, there had to be something else going on. "Is that what your plan is then, shitty Mackerel?"
Dazai simply smiled, a small and seemingly tired smile but still a smile. I got the feeling this one somehow was different from the fake smiles I had seen him flash, this one was genuine. "Guess you'll have to find out my plan then, won't you Chuuya?" Dazai said in the same absentminded tone from before. I rolled my eyes irritatedly before finishing the last bit of the paperwork.
"Let go of me!" I told him as I tried to stand,
I'm had to go put up the paperwork and turn it in. Dazai tightly wrapped his other arm around my waist, "You're my dog Slug, not the other way around." He told me coldly.