Hidden with a smile.

Chapter 2- Why is everybody asking that?

Getting herself ready for work, she carefully removed her pyjama top, and for a while just stared in the mirror.
she judged her body. Every last bit of it. She hated how ugly she felt, she hated her stomach, her legs, her thighs, her chest, and now she hated her arms even more.
She scanned up and down them, hating the marks and scars that lay on them.
Her vision started to go blurry as her tears created a shield over her eyes, she quickly wiped them away and put on a jumper, carefully lifting it over her arms.
She brushed her hair into a neat, high ponytail, finished her makeup, and slipped on her shoes.
Walking down the stairs, she noticed she had an unread message:
"I'm really sorry but i might be a bit late picking you up, traffics bad, but don't worry i'll be there."
It was from Reece, she appreciated everything he does for her and could never allow him to apologise.
she simply responded "It's okay don't worry about it, thank you for letting me know. see you soon x"
With time to spare, she sat herself on the sofa, not knowing what to do.
Her mum was at work, so the house was dead silence.
Without realising, she put her hand up her hoodie sleeve and began to run her fingers up and down her arms.
Thinking about it made her cry. A blanket of tears began to form and surge down her cheeks as she found peace in her harming, yet regretted it with every inch of her being.
She sat for a while, zoned out, wondering if her suffering will ever end. Eventually, she snapped out of it. She grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes. When she heard a car outside, she knew it was Reece. Double checking her sleeves were pulled fully down, she grabbed her bag and left the house, locking the door behind her.
As she approached Reece's car, opening the handle, she ensured she held her sleeve down to. It wasn't worth the risk, if he saw, she wouldn't know what to do.
"hey carl-" He stopped talking as he observed her face.
"what's wrong?" he asked , his face full of patience and understanding.
"nothing, i'm fine, why?" she yet again plastered the fake, plastic smile from ear to ear.
"if you say so." he knew something was wrong, she looked tired and he could see faint streaks in her makeup from her now visible cries.
He began to drive to work, ensuring she wouldn't be late. "I'll pick you up at lunch, the usual?"
Hearing this question made her sick.
She didn't want anything. Nothing.
"yeah, sure!" Forcing her voice to be as energetic as usual. "Except the fanta. Can we just have water?"
"well.. yeah, sure, why?" Reece looked at her for a split second, before his eyes returned to the road. "i thought fanta was your favourite" He questioned.
"yeah, it's just a hot day today, water would be more refreshing." She lied. When you have so many secrets, it's important to lie.
That's what carly was good at. Keeping secrets.
"Okay then." He sounded skeptical, but Carly had convinced him enough.
As they pulled into Marjorie's nursery Reece looked at Carly, who had been sitting with her head down the entire time.
"are you sure your okay?" 
"yeah, honestly i'm fine!" She started to get out of the car, trying to avoid confrontation.
"Well don't forget where i am if you need me. See you at lunch." Reece raised his eyebrows slightly, suggesting he meant what he said.
"see ya" Closing the door, Carly felt massive relief as she watched him pull off from the car park.
As much as she loved and appreciated his concern for her, she just wanted to avoid it.
Walking into the nursery, she put a hand on her sleeve, ready to hide herself at all costs.
"Morning Agatha" she signed herself in on the staff sheet.
Agatha didn't respond, she just looked up and raised her eyebrows, implying a "hello" in return.
She walked through up to the staff room, placing her bag in her locker.
She spotted Sorscha, "hiya Sorscha" she smiled.
"Oh hiya carly, how are ya?" She replied, her face beaming with pure care for the apprentice. She loved seeing carly , for whatever reason, it warmed her heart.
"i'm good, how are you?" Carly lied, again.
"i'm alright thanks, gotta go for my shift now though, see ya later!" Getting up from her seat, she waved at the apprentice before leaving the room.
Carly wasn't alone for long though, as Char made an entrance "Hi carly! Are you alright?" Char always seemed happy. Her pure heart radiated and her kindness lifted everybody's spirits.
"Oh hey Char, yeah i'm good, are you?"
Lying to Charlotte made Carly feel horrible, but she couldn't tell her. she couldn't tell anyone.
"i'm okay thank you, are you coming?"
Charlotte nudged her head in the direction of the doorway, signalling for Carly to follow her, ready for handovers.
"Give me one sec, i'll be down in a minute"
She watched charlotte start to walk away
"Okay then Carly see you soon" Char spoke as she left.
Carly took a deep breath, making sure her sleeves were fully down.
She had to do this. There was no other choice.
She forced herself out of the door and on her way to the toddler room.
Stepping foot into the toddler room, she prepared for the
"aren't you hot in that" and the "aren't you sweating" knowing that the conversations will be so awkward.
The first parent arrives, smiling at Carly cheerfully.
She wonders if it takes her as much effort to smile as it takes herself.
"Good morning! Good morning Jack, is everything okay"
Despite her dying inside, she remained "happy" and "cheerful"
"Oh he's okay , he just needs some breakfast" The parent looked Carly up and down. Not in a judgemental way however, more a look of confusion as to why she'd wear a hoodie in this weather.
"Alright then you go on to Charlotte and she will sort your breakfast" She placed a hand on the little boys back and instructed him.
"See you later" The parent walked off, waving to her child.
"Bye!" Carly watched as she left the room.