Lie, deflect. Lie, deflect.
Elle hated the way she'd adapted so quickly.
The gum in her mouth had began to lose its flavour, her knee bouncing up and down as Phoebe talked to the producer about tweaking something she hadn't even noticed. The guitar she'd loved for years felt foreign in her grip and her fingers moved along it with an unfamiliar clumsiness.
Only a few days had passed since she went to see Gracie and what followed was more of the same. She was haunted. Elle tried her hardest to be good, to treat Rowan how she deserved, but she was slipping away.
Phoebe had invited her to the studio for a quick brainstorming session to help clear her mind, as the blonde had put it.
She turned around in her chair to look at her. "Don't you think it sounds too... twangy?"
"Hm?" Elle was torn out of her thoughts. "I don't know. I thought it sounded alright."
Phoebe rolled her eyes, turning back to the producer. "Ignore her, listen, just tweak it a little-"
Elle drowned them out again.
What if Gracie was being sincere? What if she meant every word? Would she be making a mistake if she went back? After everything they'd been through?
Even though thoughts of Gracie and her soft smile clouded her mind the memories of everything she'd built with Rowan bubbled up to the surface eventually. Phoebe would kill her if she ran back to her ex, breaking the other girl in the process. That would be their friendship finished.
Could you imagine what people would say?
The media would eat them alive. Gracie definitely wouldn't be able to keep her cool, she'd probably run away like she'd always done. While the whole idea of them being together again was tempting, Elle knew it wasn't worth it. She'd lose everything.
Rowan had said goodbye to her this morning with a kiss on her forehead and fresh pancakes on the kitchen counter. She loved her. Why was Elle even considering abandoning that?
The doubt wasn't enough to discourage Elle from hovering over the call button on Gracie's contact. She'd done it twice so far, locking herself in the bathroom with a pit so deep in her chest that she thought she was dying. Maybe she should just call, and see what Gracie wanted. See what she could offer.
Elle stood up abruptly, startling everyone else in the room. She paused. "I'm going for a smoke." She blurted out, leaving the guitar resting against the black couch in the back of the room and pushing through the door. Phoebe had shot her a look, but she left it behind her. The smoking area for the studio was cramped and dingy, a small metal table sitting in the middle of a small courtyard. She groaned as she pulled a pack of cigarettes from her jeans pocket, the phone in her other one making its presence more and more known.
She placed the cigarette in her mouth, leaving the lighter on the table as she pulled out her phone.
It rang for a while.
"Hey." Gracie spoke, the shuffling of sheets in the background.
"Hey," Elle muttered through the cigarette, putting her onto speaker and grabbing the lighter. "Is now a good time?"
"I just woke up so... yes." She laughed. Elle didn't like the reaction her body had to the sound.
She lit the cigarette, inhaling the smoke deeply before blowing it back out. "I left my jacket at yours." She said simply. Elle grinned at the giggle coming from the other end of the line.
"I know," She could hear the smirk. "Audrey came over to drop Weenie off and couldn't stop asking me if I'd had a guy over."
"What did you say?"
