Favorite Mistake {Finale}

CHAPTER 4 ~ MAYA

This was it.

This is where my life changed completely.

Their final resting place.

Tears streamed down my reddened face as I recited the words of sympathy on her headstone over and over again.

One mistake- no, one choice. One stupid ass choice cost me two of the greatest pieces of my life.

This was all my fault. I could never forgive myself for what happened to them.

My niece will never get the chance to see her father. Javier will never get to see his little girl grow up. Tía will never get the chance to grow old and be at peace.

And that's all on me.

I laid the flowers I purchased earlier against the rigid headstone, taking in my emotions for a moment.

I glanced over to Javi's headstone but quickly turned away. All I could think about was Gia and how she didn't deserve any of this, her father should be here.

It should've been me.

I should be in this cemetery, not them. I should be buried six-feet under in a casket, not them. Yet here I was. Living while the two most deserving people rot away underground.

"Maya." I ignored my friends call. "Maya. Come on bro we've been out here for hours."

"Good." I muttered.

"No not good. It's damn near six-o'clock and you know this ain't our side of town."

I paused. "How do you think they would've reacted if this were me."

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"Mí familia. What if I just disappeared or crawl into a hole and died. I mean I've done some shitty things so maybe they wouldn't miss me much."

"Look maybe you need to take minute or something Maya-"

"They're gone Haji.....Javier. Linda. I did this......Sometimes I can't help the feeling of wanting to take their place."

"Aye calm down, ight? Don't get suicidal on me."

As I wiped away a tear a multitude of others descended down my cheeks. I hated how vulnerable I was but I needed to release these feelings before they consumed me.

".....I don't know man. I think life would've been better if I let Alejandro get at me like he wanted to. My tía and Javi would still be here. It's like I killed them. It might as well had been me pulling those triggers."

His light footsteps approached as he took a knee at my side. Polo slid his shades off and threw his arm over my shoulder.

"Everyone has their time Maya. Not saying what happened was valid but.....death can't be cheated. There's no way you could've known Linda would go out like that and we for damn sure wouldn't have let Javi go down the way he did if we had a hint of what was about to happen."

"But it happened." My voice cracked. "He died and I couldn't stop it. Same with my tía.....I should've stayed my ass in Atlanta to begin with. Coming back home was a mistake."