DEAR, DARK

41. Let us be alone

That woman. That utterly, ardently, and irrevocably tolerable woman! Everything she does either brings me to life or pushes me to death. There is nothing in between. That stubborn fucking beauty, that beat of my dying heart and that meaning of my unreasonable life!

What should I do with her?! What should I do with myself without her?! Where should I go?! What should I do?! Why does she have to put me in this torment and prove her fucking control over my body, mind and fucking soul if it exists!

She has poisoned me. She has poisoned me with her presence and now I'm slowly reaching the most painful death. Not that I'm afraid of death but not being alive with Moon has started to fear me...

.

"It's been two fucking days, Kenan! Two fucking days!" I forced myself to put the gun down that I held in the direction of Kenan, my fingers screamed to pull the trigger but, "Moon is alone in Turkey for two fucking days!"

"Our team is trying to find Miss Diaz's exact location, sir. She has disappeared without any trace. No ticket booking, passport checks and no appearance on any CCTV cameras." Kenan said, "Miss Berenguer ensured we don't find her trace."

"Don't give me fucking excuses, Kenan! I need Moon's location in the next thirty minutes or else I'll execute you myself." I shoved my gun back and climbed into the car. "Do you fucking understand?"

The only information we could find was Moon left for Turkey and is in Istanbul now. That's it. I don't know where she is, how she is, in what fucking state. She went all alone, in the world dark as fucking crow, I don't know if she's armed or unarmed. I don't know if she had eaten or not. I don't know where she slept or if she had slept at all. I don't know-

Why does she have to punish me like this?! Why does she put the knife on my neck?! Why does she have to fucking leave me like that?! Why? Why? Why? Does she want me to die?

"We sent our fifteen teams in the north side of Istanbul and thirty-two teams in the south. Twenty villages have been searched and five under the target." Kenan read all the data sent by our teams while my blood boiled to the extreme.

We got one of the best trackers, hackers, and search teams, and yet, and yet all we could find was the country and the city Moon went to. Two days, it's been two fucking days for we haven't found Moon.

Thanks to Lilith Fucking Berenguer. She refused to tell me anything about where Moon went even though I pointed a gun at her head. Yeah, I pointed a gun on Lilith's head to dig the information out of her and she shot me on the bicep.

Lilith isn't the woman you could scare, she can't be bought nor she can be manipulated. It's impossible to dig information out of Lilith. I should find Moon on my own because Lilith told me she wouldn't open her mouth.

And Light says I should get calm. Fuck the calm! How could I calm down?! Moon is not under my sight, she is gone, she is gone to some strange city and he wants me to calm the fucking down?! I'm dying here! I'm dying the fuck here!