Don't Blame Me: Genius

A Little Hurt

~Hope Pov~

Saturday Morning
I've never woken up angry. There was an empty pit full of rage and hurt in my stomach. I was angry. I rolled over on my back and took three deep breaths. I threw back my covers then sat up on the side of my bed. I looked outside of my window, it was sunny but still wet from last night's rain. I loved sunny days, but the rain threw today off. I looked down at the floor teary eyed, "it's fine, you're fine.," I whispered to myself. I knew that every little thing was going to set me off today. I kept sitting there for a few moments.

My mother yelled out, "Hope! Breakfast!," she called. I sighed standing up, slugging myself down the stairs. I took a seat at the table.

"Goodmorning.," I said short.

My mom greeted me with a kiss on the forehead. She seemed to be in a rush, "Goodmorning babe. Listen you eat up, I'm late for a meeting," she panics looking at her watch.

"On Saturday, Mom?," I questioned her with curiosity.

"Yes well, I was busy at the law office all week so we scheduled a breakfast meeting for today at ten, it's ten twenty now" my mom explained herself.

A lightbulb went off in my head. "Speaking of law...You didn't tell me that you knew Mr. Fallen.," I said almost as a question.

"I'm sorry?" Mom acted like she didn't hear me.

I cleared my throat, "You were one of his top interns, you got me the gig.  My only question is...did you or did you not have a say in the letter of recommendation he gave to me" I stated calmly but stern.

"Hope, you think I'm framing your future?," she raised a furious brow at me.

"Are you?" I spoke with an accusatory tone. My mom then crossed her arms and the expression on her face told me that I was in for it.

"No. I might give you floaties but you'll either sink or swim on your own," my mom said with a straight face. I looked at her and swallowed hard. Humbled. Tears started to fill my eyes.

"Now. Since I'm past late, I'm going to cancel this meeting. You, however, are going to go to your room. You will not step one foot out unless you are in dire need of a bathroom. Go.," my mom spoke calmly but her expressions were enough to know she was serious.
——
I've been crying in the corner of my room for about an hour, rocking back and forth with my head buried in my knees. I've never treated my mom like that, and it was all because of Tess. I felt bad. I know my mom can hear my pain but she wasn't coming to my rescue this time. In that  earlier moment I didn't want her to, but after I jumped ship I needed her. When I lifted my head up to wipe a portion of the tears away, my eyes ended up landing on my lovely off brand doll that stays on my bed. I scoffed, "did I even make the right choice?," speak to the doll as if it were Tess. I shook my head and buried it back into my knees.

A few minutes later my mother let herself into my room. I jumped up and wiped my face quickly.

"Are you ready to speak in a different tone of voice," she didn't leave me room for a choice.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be disrespectful," I apologized.

She motioned me to the edge of my bed. "Hope, sit", mom said softly. "I don't care if you're angry, upset, hell even happy. Don't sit with it, because building it up makes it worse," she said, tucking my hair behind my ear.

I took a breath and stood up in front of her. "Mom, Tess cheated on me.," I exclaimed.

She stood up quickly, "Ex -fucking -cuse me?," she blurted. I lowered my head with teary eyes again.

"Yeah. Yeah she did. I think that she was trying to figure out who she really is or maybe it really was because I spent so much time with Malia," I cried.

"It doesn't matter the reason, Hope. You love that girl and she hurt you. Did you you guys break up?," she asks

"No, well not really. I guess so. I just kinda walked away. I did the same thing to Ren," I lowered my head.

I heard my mom chuckle, "you've been bringing her up a lot this summer. I know you miss her. I support you in every choice you make, mistakes and all. If you forgive Tess, that's fine and if not, that's fine.,"

I refrained from asking her what I should do, to her Tess and I were endgame and I didn't need a biased answer. I smiled and thanked my mom for being my lifeguard. She gave me a forehead kiss on the way out of my room.
——
Saturday Evening
I was finally free to leave my room anytime I wanted to but honestly, I seriously did not feel like it. I wanted to go out but also curl up with my blankets and put on a movie. That's exactly what I did. I sat on my bed, my back against my wall, with my blankets wrapped around me. I was searching for something good to watch. I definitely did not want to see Jeepers Creepers. I decided on a musical, Hamilton of course.

Man, I love this musical. It has to be number one out of my top three favorites. It's like a movie and history lesson all in one.

I'm singing along, "We can end this war in Yorktown, cut them off at sea but, for this to succeed there's someone else we need...HAMILT-,"

"GIRL SHUT UP!," my mother shouted from downstairs.

I cackled. I'm just trying to live my best life, halfway through Hamilton and I get shut down. About that time my phone lit up. I paused the TV.

Malia: Hey lady!
Malia: I heard from a friend of a friend that there's gonna be a senior campfire party tonight.
Malia: Wanna slide through?
Me: Who's all going to be there?
Malia: I'm not sure but ik people aren't your thing so quick trip?
Me: Mmmm why the hell not.

Last minute decisions. I figure I can't be held up in this room forever. I won't let Tess bound me here forever. I need to get some air.

"Hamilton, my love. I'll see you at a later date,"I chuckled to myself.

I went over to the closet and picked out a pair of camouflage cargo pants, a fitted white v-neck top, with white converse. I finished getting dressed and doing my hair. I grabbed my Steve Madden backpack purse for little things like my keys, phone, gum or chapstick. I trotted downstairs to let my mom know that I was going to be leaving.

When I got in the car, I called Malia to let her know that I was on my way.

You know when you have a gut feeling that something bad is about to go down. Don't ignore it.