Ephemeral Phantoms

Chapter 6

                                   Sloane

A silver sheen delicately glazed my eyes and everything in its vicinity, courtesy of the almost full moon. It stuck out like a penny from the painfully blue sky. A feeling of an impending finale loomed in the damp air. Like the coin would fall out by the next second, giving way to the forbidden sky to gobble up everything in its wake.

It was a race against the time in my head. I couldn't take a pit stop, couldn't catch my breath. All I have is myself. My own self who has to run, run, run. Until my calves burn, and until my knees give out. A tear slips down my cheek. A tear of pure exhaustion from self-sabotage. I need to calm down, I'm in control, always. Without an exception, there never was and there never will be. I need to relaxed, and it will be fine, normal, okay. I inhaled a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. Thankfully it worked.

My eyes flit across to the window, which started this whole train of thought. The moon is still tucked away cosily in the endless sky. With no chances in the near future to fall out. That gives me reassurance. Even if it's very little. Knock knock, the door speaks. I quickly wipe away any remnants of my inner turmoil. Jumping up from my bed I rush to answer the door, already knowing who it might be.

Electric red hair and a larger than the sun smile (or moon should I say) engulf me in a bear hug. Reminding me of the first time she hugged me like this after saving my ass from laurent. Like that time, we hug longer than the "average" hug. But the last time my arms sat idle by my body. I don't repeat that mistake, hugging her back with the same fervour.

"How is my favourite friend doing this fine night?" she says, finally pulling back, as I let the door open wider for her to enter. "You mean your only friend?" I say smartly, cocking an eyebrow at her while she slumps on the bed. "motherfucker!" she says while pitching a pillow on my face. Instead of delving into a pillow fight, I forgive Celene and join her on my bed. For a few minutes we do nothing but bask in the glorious moonlight.

"I'm glad you're here Lena," I say sincerely, addressing her by the name of endearment I gave her. She slid her fingers in mine as a response. "I'm not going anywhere Sloane", her voice filled with a softness I hadn't heard before. How does she know that's what I needed to hear right now? I grip her hand tighter in gratitude. "Can I say something?" celene says. "Always' ' I reply, looking at her expectantly. "You need to stop living like there's a ticking time bomb going off, let go sometimes babe," she continues, "there isn't an expiry date on fun, or the people you meet. it's unfair to yourself and the people around you if you live like everything is going to go to shit the next second". I now look at her directly getting ready to deny any such thing, but the raw honesty of the moment gets to me. "I can't help it. You and Noah. The date with Sage-'' I start. "So you admit it was a date?" she smirks at me. I glare at her, continuing, "It all feels too much, too overwhelming. Like it's all going to come crashing down. And I don't want to be a part of the collateral damage" I finish, my face now arranged to my default. Cold and indifferent.

Celene takes a deep breath, "Sloane, life is all about probability. Everything might work out or it might not. We are friends today, we might not be tomorrow" she tries to explain, "you can't live isolated because of the fear of things not working out in your favour, that's fucking stupid". "Wow no way you actually made sense for once" I laugh all the while letting the weight of her words hit me. Hard. What I don't voice is that I can't let go of the feeling of not being in control. I'd rather miss out on experiences and "people" than giving my all. Celene must've sensed the shift in the atmosphere because she changes the topic.

----------------------------------------------------------

An exciting buzz fills the air as I walk down the cobblestone path that leads me towards the Griffin gate of the university. The Anticipation and elation in the air is so palpable that I can feel it layer thickly on my skin, erupting a layer of goosebumps.