My Next Door Bully

Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15 - THE TALK

I've still been avoiding him.

But I've thought about him so much that I know I need to talk to him.

Everytime I see him or feel his gaze on me I sprint to the other side of the earth (that's a little extreme but the metaphor explains itself). He hurt me and I'm not giving him the satisfaction of letting myself care too much.

Yes, I love him. Maybe a little too much, that I'm willing to hear his side.

I find myself typing a message to him when I realize he's home.

Me: We need to talk.

Ash-face 👿: yeah, I'm free, when?

Me: Meet me in your driveway

I will totally regret this, I think.

And maybe—just maybe—I took it a but far by changing his name on my phone from Ashy-Pashy❤️ to Ash-face 👿 but hey, I have the right to do such a thing.

...

"So," I draw out the 'o' as I speak, shoving another mouthful of ice cream into my mouth.

We met in my driveway and drove to Cold Stone for ice cream.

"I'm sorry," he blurts quickly. "If you'd just let me explain, you'd realize how sorry I am."

I nod and gesture for him to go ahead and explain himself—I'm following Jay's advice to at least give him a chance.

"That day—since you probably saw the video—I was staring at you because I missed you and you looked adorable in that tie. Cam kind of caught me, I knew he liked Kelsey and that's why I kind of broke things off with her, but I didn't think he'd take it this far.

"We made the bet, which I regretted instantly in the theater after you ran off. You were—are different. You're stronger and more, I don't know, yourself. I just wanted to be your friend again so I went to Cam and told him the bet was off, he knew I cared for you so he used the video against me and said that if I don't complete the bet, he would show you the video.

"I was scared shitless. I didn't want you to see it because then you would really not talk to me so I proceeded with it. Tessa, I didn't know I was going to fall for you, I didn't mean for you to get hurt. I just wanted you back in my life," he says and grabs my hands. "I begged Cam for him to delete it but he just kept fucking with me, at the party he told me to dance with you in front of Kelsey. At the ball, he told me to kiss you. I was supposed to break up with you on Monday but I couldn't, I've been trying to come clean these past few days.

"I love you, Bell, I love you so fucking much it hurts for you to look at me this way. I'm sorry, please forgive me." Ashton's eyes are glossy and pleading. "Please, Tessa, you're the most important person in my life. I fucked up, I'll do anything, okay. Just please give me another chance."

"I-I..." I have no idea how to answer.

I want to forgive him and kiss the shit out of him and wrap my arms around him and tell him that I still love him and that I forgive him, but I can't. I can't risk the chance of getting hurt again. Because it did—it hurt so fucking bad after I found out that he slept with me, for a bet. I lost my virginity for a bet. And even though I don't regret that I did it with him, I wished I would've just known. I wish he would've made me listen to him confess. If only he didn't make that bet. If only he wouldn've told me before it all blew up in our faces.

A lot of if's cloud my mind and I notice how he's still waiting for a response.

"Ash..." I hesitate. "I-I want to forgive you—"