Hanguangjun- The Waiting

The Chef

The rest of Ian's stay at the hospital was uneventful. The last two days Lan Zhan behaved as a completely different person. He joined him for dinner with his bottle of chili oil and then went to sleep on the couch. The day when Ian was leaving, he asked his newest friend. "Are you going to sleep here tonight? You can perhaps use the bed." He suggested. 

Lan Zhan shook his head. "My apartment is furnished. It's on the top floor of the music school, easier commute," he explained. 

"What about the renovations?" Ian recalled. 

"They were completed two days back. It was nothing major," Lan Zhan provided. 

Ian blinked. "Why didn't you tell me? Why were you sleeping on the couch?" 

Lan Zhan looked up at him. He did not say anything. His face was blank but Ian understood. The only reason Lan Zhan stayed with him was because of his anxiety. 

"We should catch up sometimes, once I am walking again," Ian offered. 

"We shall meet before that," he said, extending a card. "Email me the date and time when you are available to conduct classes. My secretary will guide you through the rest of your procedure," he informed in a businesslike tone. 

Ian blinked again as Lan Zhan nodded. He stood up, straightened his headband and left. He was to be discharged in a few hours and Samantha had been informed to pick him up. He was sure that she will forget. 

He had hailed a cab and returned home. Samantha was already out. He borrowed a key from the landlady and opened the apartment that they had rented together. He called out for bunny but noticed that the cat bed was gone and so were all his toys. 

He was in a wheelchair now and was likely to stay there for a few more days till he could brave the crutches that the hospital had provided. There was no food in the refrigerator and Ian had no intention of lying down on his cold bed. He knocked on his landlady's door once again and asked for a phone. He dialed the number on the card. "Lan Zhan, are you busy?" he asked. 

Fifteen minutes later a rich aroma permeated through the room where earlier there was emptiness. Ian had turned on the television and was catching up with the latest news. "You never mentioned that you can cook," Ian pointed out. 

"It is an essential life skill," Lan Zhan said. 

"Yes, I understand that. I can also cook but not many people can eat it," Ian joked. 

"I cook, you eat." Lan Zhan said simply. 

"I don't get you. You are obviously rich, you run a successful international music school, your father is the chairman of the Lan institute, your twin sister is a director there, you are super strong, you can cook, you have the looks of a male god..." Ian drifted off. 

"And," Lan Zhan urged. "What do you not get?" 

"Why are you so nice to me? Shouldn't you be arrogant and conceited?" Ian finished his thought. 

"I have learnt not to be," Lan Zhan said. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I was once a perfectionist, obsessed with becoming a idol for everyone. In trying to live upto other people's standards I allowed the person I cared for the most to feel inadequate, rejected and abandoned. When I realized the error of my ways, he was too far gone. He ultimately killed himself. I lived on," Lan Zhan admitted. 

"You loved him," Ian asked. 

Lan Zhan gave a curt nod. 

"How long did it take you to move on?" Ian asked. 

"I haven't", Lan Zhan confessed. 

"I am sorry for your loss," Ian's head dropped in guilt. He shouldn't have brought up the topic. 

Lan Zhan approached him and bent down. He held Ian's chin in his right palm and raised in so that their eyes clashed. His eyes then flicked down to Ian's lips before he crashed his own lips onto them. Lan Zhan kissed him with an intensity Ian could never estimate. He gripped the hand rest of his wheelchair as he felt blood rush to his shaft giving him an instant hard on. Lan Zhan did not ease the kiss, almost bruising his lips. Ian forced his mouth to retaliate but Lan Zhan's tongue swooped in to silence all sound. Ian had nothing to do but give in. When Lan Zhan separated to breathe Ian too gasped for breath. 

"Food is ready," Lan Zhan said, before leaving, slamming the door behind him. 

Ian sat still for a while before moving. On the dining table was a spread with dumplings, noodles, rice, soup and several stir fries. Ian didn't comprehend how Lan Zhan managed so many dishes in the span of an hour. He also noticed the bottle of chili oil placed on one side. Two plates had been laid out. Ian served himself food on one of the plates. His lips were still swollen and sensitive from the kiss. Before taking a bite, he closed his eyes and slumped back. He let his tears fall freely. 

A noise startled him. A chair was being drawn. He opened his eyes to see a blurred shape. It was Lan Zhan. "Food is getting cold," he said, serving himself. 

They both ate cold food in silence. "You remind me of him," Lan Zhan admitted after a long while. 

"What was his name?" Ian asked. 

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan said. 

For a moment Ian thought that Lan Zhan was warning him not to delve too deep. Only after a while he realized that Lan Zhan was answering him. "His name's Wei Ying," he replied. 

Lan Zhan picked up the plates and placed them in the sink. He then pushed Ian's wheelchair back to his room and took out a handful of medicines. He brought a glass of water to him, and Ian gulped the medicine down. 

Lan Zhan then took out a sleek box and handed it over to Ian. "It's a phone. My number is stored as Hanguangjun. You don't have to go to your neighbor to call me," he instructed. 

"I was going to buy a phone in the evening, once Samantha is back from work," Ian insisted. 

"I already bought this for you," Lan Zhan insisted. Ian nodded, smiled and accepted it. 

"Were you kissing him? Right now, when you kissed me, was it him?" Ian asked after some awkward silence. 

"Not completely. You were looking down, dejected. You looked so vulnerable. I couldn't help myself. I know that I should apologize. But I haven't forgiven myself for it yet," Lan Zhan admitted. 

Ian was shocked. "I forgive you." 

"Don't. I have broken your trust twice now," Lan Zhan said remorsefully. "Punish me," he urged. 

"Ok. I'll punish you." Ian agreed. 

Lan Zhan looked up, hopefully. 

"That day after you fell back asleep, I masturbated for the first time in my life. I felt like a cad for it but I did it. When you kissed me today, I got another hard on," Ian confessed. 

Lan Zhan breathed a sigh. "That doesn't sound like a punishment," he responded. 

"I want you to kiss me again," Ian answered. 

Lan Zhan looked up startled. Then he walked up to Ian and went down on his knees. His hand reached up, taking Ian's neck and pulling him down. Lan Zhan let Ian take the lead this time. This wasn't a kiss of passion but rather of emotion. Ian took his time and felt Lan Zhan breathe into him. When they separated there was a ghost of a smile on Lan Zhan's face. 

Ian was smiling widely but shook his head. "This doesn't change a thing. We are still friends, just friends," he insisted. 

Lan Zhan nodded. 

"For now," he added, before getting up and taking a seat before the television. They watched the news for a while before Lan Zhan took his leave.