Poetry for who needs it

Ow...

I use to love so deeply
that when people leave
i feel my heart break.

Sometimes i just want to feel less empathy towards those who don't deserve it,
i just wish i couldn't understand how you feel
just by looking at you.

I wish i wasn't me,
i wish i wasn't the friend that smiles at kids,
the one that fills you with compliments,
the one that is always there,
the one that always has smile on their face,
i wish i just...could be different.

I wish i didn't change for people that didn't deserve me,
i wish i didn't write that many poems about people that left,
i wish i could get over his death,
i just wish...

But deep inside,
i know that everyone keeps me around because they know that i am easy to manipulate,
that i can become what you want me to be...
that i can be what you desire
and be what disgusts you.