My Only Comfort

Twenty Three

Four years ago

"You're home early."
Hearing his wife's voice, Soohyun turned to look at Jiwon approaching him from the entrance to their home. As usual, he gave little response and simply walks away. They have been quarelling on and off lately and have not had a proper conversation. Most of the time, they would make up over s** but eventually that went away too.

Neither had much sleep, struggling with undisclosed resentment - each with the thought that they were being considerate to the other by not addressing their pent up feelings. Unaware what it would cost them.

Morning came all too slowly and each was just looking forward to be at their respective office to distract themselves from the chaos in their marriage. But running away from one problem will only lead to another.

"Do you have a second?"
Soohyun looks up to his wife. She was leaning against the doorframe to the studyroom in their home where he had spend most of his nights at until Jiwon falls asleep.
"What is it?" He asked.
He watched as Jiwon walked in and stood right in front of his work table.
"Well, I've been thinking..if we could spend some time together this weekend?" We could book a staycation nearby or go get good food or even just take a walk.."
"I'm busy this week." He had cut in.
"Is that all?" He asked.

At that moment, he saw how her eyes changed.

"How long are you going to keep up with this?"
Soohyun could tell that Jiwon was filled with rage.
"Look, I have to get this done tonight." He lift the papers in his hand. "I really don't want us to argue again. We can spend time together on another day when we're both free." Soohyun added.

"You're avoiding me." Her arms now crossed with a deep frown on her face.
"What are you talking about?" Soohyun sighed.
"It's a fact! You don't even bother to fix things between us anymore! Every time we argue, every time we fight, every time we yell at each other's face, you just walked off!" Jiwon starts yelling.
Soohyun stood from his seat and walk over to tower over her.
"What do you expect me to do when you're always bulldozing your way through and never paying attention to what I have to say?!" He retorts replicating her tone.
"That's why we need to talk! Let me hear you! How do you expect us to resolve things if you just avoid everything?!" She ridiculed.
"So it's all my fault now? You're going to pretend as if you don't do the same?" He scoffed.
"At least I'm trying! I tried..but you barely even look at me. You don't even respond properly or even ever ask how my day was and you locked yourself here, you don't even want to share the dining table with me anymore..how do.."

"Stop." Soohyun cut in.
Jiwon scoffed in disbelief.
"You're doing it again. Always being a coward and running away from problems." She spats. "I just want some time for us so that we can sort things out. We knew from the beginning we won't agree or be on the same page all the time and we will argue and fight through this marriage. But we got to find our way back." She continued. "We used to mend things between us right? So why is it now we're not?" Jiwon sighed.

Soohyun's eyes diverted to his feet.

"Don't blame me if you're going to keep up with this." Jiwon felt defeated as she walked past him.

"Let's end this." His voice was cold and filled with unwavering conviction making her stop in her steps.
"What?" She turned to him.
"You're right. I'm a coward and I have no will on fixing things anymore. So let's end this. Let's get a divorce." He turned to her and stared right in her eyes.
"You don't mean that." Jiwon spats through her gritted teeth. He saw how her eyes wavered and how tears began to brimmed in her eyes.
"I do. I've had enough of this."

For the first time in a while, he saw her tears flow down her cheek, eyes filled with nothing but disappointment.