R.I.P 2 My Youth | DD x DDot

2

┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐
Sugarhill, NY.
Therapy
10:26 am
└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

That Just Isn't Empirically Possible

|It's lonely at the top
All of my enemies have been defeated (RIP)
The crown has been sitting on my head for too long
It's starting to give me these lesions (yeah, yeah)
Don't follow the crowd, the crowd is misleading (no)
Stay solo, surrounded by all of my demons (ay)
Licking my wounds as they deepen (ay)
Constantly feeding them all of my secrets|

"Darrian? Excuse me? Are you listening to me?" I got snapped out of my thoughts by my therapist calling my name. I looked up at her with droopy eyes. I wasn't high, but i was a little drunk. But that didn't matter.
My mom woke me up at 9 am and made me get dressed and dragged me here. She thinks therapy and the best thing for me at this time. She's wrong.
I know what i need and therapy isn't what i need.

"No" i shook my head. I didn't have the energy to lie and say i was. cus i wasn't. She sighed deeply, "you're going to have to work with me Darrian. I understand you're hurt by your best friends death, i know and i understand but you-"

"You actually don't understand. You don't know! You don't know shit. You're a dumb therapist my mom hired hoping to fix me." I stood up quickly, knocking down the chair i was sitting on by accident. "You're not broken. There's nothing to 'fix'. You just have to get your feelings in check and accept what happened. Ethan is dead."

in seconds the water bottle i was holding was open and all over the place. Especially her. I left the room and slammed it behind me. My mother was sitting on the chair next to the door; she looked up when she saw me with a concerned look. "What happened? you still have 45 minutes.."

"I'm not doing that no more," i mumbled. "What do you mean?"
"I mean i quit? This therapy shit ain't doing me no good." My mom rubbed her face, "then what are we gonna do? You can't just drink and smoke all day Darrian. That's bad for you."

I shrugged and didn't answer her. She looked at me as she expected me to speak some more, but i didn't. I didn't have no words. She smacked her lips and stood up, "let's go."

We went to the car and i sat in the passenger seat. I was listening to music in my AirPods with my eyes closed. I didn't feel nothing. Nothing was going through my mind. I just felt numb.

As i opened my eyes we drove past david and Ethan's house. David was outside with some of our friends. He waved at me but i just buried my face in my hands until we got home.

I knew i should've waved back, or did something. But i just didn't. Not sure why. David was my best friend and we were going through the same thing. If not, he had it worse. I lost my best friend, he lost his brother. That made me feel a little guilty but i just turned up the volume to my song to block out my thoughts.