The Silent Knight

-11-

"You're getting married tomorrow." I say looking down at Marisia and she traces my chest with her finger. I move the hair out of her face gently.

"I am getting married tomorrow." She says looking up at me. Worry fills our gaze, afraid as to what will happen next.

"Marisia." I say as tears form in my eyes, already regretting what I am to say next. She sit up frantically searching my eyes concerned.

"Don't you dare Maddox." She says placing her index finger above my lips. I recall these words from her. Our first kiss. She removes her finger as I suck in my bottom lip.

"How will this work? I won't allow a war to form due to this." I point between her and I.

"I could lose you." My voice cracking.

"I'm your life." She says quietly shaking her head placing her hand on my heart, tears forming in her eyes as well.

"We are surviving, not living." I say staring at her intently as my lip begins to quiver.

My words were honest. We have not truly lived while being trapped behind closed doors, stolen glances and whispers. Our relationship and love has been kept within shadows and darkness. Leaving a dark cloud roaming over our heads at all times. A tear falls down her cheek slowly.

"Do you love me?" She already knowing my answer.

"You will lose everything if they truly know of this, I cannot let that happen. I won't let you choose between I and your crown." I say.

"Maddox, do you love me?" She asks sternly.

"Don't be foolish to ask a question you already know the answer to. I love you more than you will ever know, Marisia. Which is why I capable of loving you from afar. I will continue my duties and love you endlessly under a suit of armor. We will no longer have nights like this one, you and I both know realistically that, that is true." I say as my hand reaches her face, wiping the tears that fall.

She and I both know we will be unable to love one another as we have in secret. We knew this time would come eventually. I will sit and watch as she and her husband spend time together. I will listen as he impregnates her while I'm standing on the other side of the door. I will watch her give birth to his children. I will watch them start their family as a husband and wife do, all while loving her entirely.

She knows the life I have sacrificed as not only being a Knight but also her lover. I would gladly do it all over again just to re-cherish every moment we have spent together.

"It is not foolish you are giving up Maddox, on us. You are not fighting for this." She says trying to hold back her tears.

"I have fought for you endlessly and I will continue to fight for this till the ends of this Earth. You are marrying a man who will keep close eyes on us at all times my love. As everyone has said closest to us we need to be careful. I could physically never give up on you, even the thought of it brings me despair." I say as she moves the hair out of my face.

"Then we shall not allow this arrangement to change us, even if we are so hidden we can barely see." She says staring down at me as her hands rest on my shoulders.

"As a knight I am not following duty allowing this to happen." I say staring into her violet blue eyes.

"As a Queen I am not following my duties by being devoted to you." She says placing a hand on my chest.

I clench my jaw and close my eyes allowing a tear to fall. Trying to block out the pain I am enduring for her to know I will be okay. To know I would do anything for her even if it brought me misery.

"We will do what we can." She says smiling softly as she kisses the palm of my hand while it rests on the side of her face.

"I could lose you too, you know." She says looking at me.

"I am your knight, you will never lose me." I say pulling her in for a kiss.

The night was spent as if it was our last. As we intertwined under her moonlight room. I hold her just as I have done when she falls into her slumber. I know now that by morning things will never be the same as they have been. I know there will forever be a constant battle in my mind.

I will have to watch her pretend which is something she has always done quite well. She is smarter than anyone I have ever met and what she wants she will get no matter the circumstances.

I play with her white hair as her head lays on my chest. I want nothing but for her to succeed as a Queen but will suffer silently as I watch our love fade.