Chapter 10: Always Been You

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Warning ⚠️: use of cannabis and alcohol, attempted rape.

Italics = English
ꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄ

𝒦𝒶𝓏ℯ𝓂𝒾

I haven't slept in 3 days. Well, I haven't had a good night's sleep in 3 days. I kept waking up in the middle of the night due to my insomnia.

Everytime I close my eyes, cyan orbs stare back at me. Dabi was in every dream I had.
My dreams of Dabi weren't dreams. They were memories. Memories of him Fucking me, holding me, laughing with me. I cursed my brain for bringing forth the memories that would hurt me the most.

Why can't I dream of something that would make me hate Dabi? He is a villain, a criminal, some would say he is a monster, but all I could think of was the times we had together. The good times.

Even though I had barely any sleep in my system, I showed up to work. However high I was, I still went to work. Working is the only thing that keeps my mind from wandering towards Dabi. A distraction to keep me motivated.

However, I was draining myself working so hard. Due to being sleep deprived, and showing up to work high on weed, Sakura gave me the rest of the week off.

Sitting at home, I rolled up a hemp leaf and went to smoke on my patio. I had smoked 2 blunts by six o'clock. I was part of the porch swing by 7:30. By 8:45, I knew I had to do something.

I was getting depressed when I was doing so well. Part of me wonders if I was only happy because Dabi was around all the time. Now he's gone and there is nothing to do. But the bigger part of me knew that I couldn't—wouldn't go back to where I started.

I shouldn't treat myself like this.

So I walked groggily to my bathroom and took off my clothes. I stepped into the shower and turned the cold water on to the coldest setting. I gasped when the ice cold water splashed against my back. I stood under the water until I wasn't so high that I would trip and break my neck on the tub. I turned the hot water on and turned the cold water down.

I sighed when the water warmed up to a comfortable temperature. Ducking my head under, I used my lavender shampoo to wash my hair and used my coconut conditioner on the ends of my hair. I used my Dove body wash to lather up, then I wrinced off. stepping out of the shower, I wrapped my hair up and then used a body towel to wrap around my body.

I walked down the hallway to my room. I dried off completely before going to my closet, I pulled on a black bodycon dress. The sides laced up from my waist to my hips, tying off at the hem. The neckline plunges to show my cleavage. The cups that were built in cupped my breast so they were pushed up. I fixed the spaghetti straps so they wouldn't keep falling off my shoulders. I also pulled on a vintage leather jacket with lots of zippers and buckles as it cropped just under my waist. I pulled on black thigh highs with lace on the hems, and my favorite pair of Wednesday-style platform heeled boots.

 I pulled on black thigh highs with lace on the hems, and my favorite pair of Wednesday-style platform heeled boots

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