My pride had taken a hit. A few, since listening to my wife explain in disrespectful detail, her tryst with a woman that she... loved. My ego was hurting and my heart was torn.
What had I done to make her fall into the arms of another? Had I not flirted enough? Had I pushed her too hard, not loved her enough? Or was all just circumstantial? If it hadn't been this woman, would it have been someone else?
Was she deserving of forgiveness? Did she even want it?
She looked sincere sitting across from me with tears welling in her eyes, but my wife was a pretty liar. I looked a little harder and saw all her flaws and inconsistencies. She still wore that ring her mistress had given her and mine too. I didn't know what to make of that. I didn't know what was actually happening in my wife's brain.
"I need a break Beyoncé."
"We can stop Mora. I don't have to keep telling you all this."
"It's fine," I told her, but I stood up from our dining room table anyway.
I needed more than a break. I needed to go back in time to that day and keep my wife home. Better yet, I needed to go back and create a rift between her and Kelendria so that she couldn't go around introducing people to my wife.
"Where you going?"
I shrugged my shoulders, "I'll be back."
"I'll be here when you get back."
I nodded, grabbed my keys, and left the house. I could see her in the window, watching me roll down the hill. My distrust with her made me wonder whether she was watching out of love or if she was watching so she could call her mistress once I was out of eyesight.
I shook away my thoughts and replied to Kurt, telling him that I'd meet him in a minute. He texted me back but I didn't even looked as I pulled into the bar's parking lot a minute later.
I hopped out, leaving my phone and bringing my wallet. At the bar sat Kurt, right where he told me he'd be. A sense of relief washed over me. My trust these days was wearing thin.
I pulled my jacket off as I walked toward him, throwing it over the back of the stool next to him once close enough. I took a seat, patting his back to get his attention.
"Mora. How you doing man?"
"Could be better. I need a damn drink."
"Where you coming from?"
"The house. Having a tough conversation with my wife."
"About Onika?"
"Yes, about her."
"My bad for not telling you. I didn't wanna insert myself in someone else's business, and I didn't know the situation. It'd been so long since I'd seen her with you, I thought y'all got divorced. I thought they were together. Then I saw her with you again and just got real confused, so I shut up."
"It's cool," I lied. I couldn't be angry with him because all of that made sense, and I would think the same way, but I was human so I was anyway.
"It's on me," He said.
I nodded and told the bartender what I wanted. I stared at her, my eyes narrowing, borderline deceiving me. She looked like someone my wife would be attracted to. Slanted eyes and pretty dimples, she looked like my wife's type.
"You know her?"
I shook my head no.
"You should."
I shook my head no again.
"I don't wanna beat around the bush because I know people lying to you is beginning to piss you off."
"Beginning?"
"She is not going to divorce you Samora, you do know that don't you?"
"None of it is up to her. She doesn't get to choose."
"You're giving her the option. Even though you're torturing yourself by listening to this depressing ass story about her and her mistress, you're not going to divorce her."
I scoffed as I took a swig of my drink, "I'll divorce her if I wanna divorce her."
"But you don't want to. You're looking for a reason not to with this story, but you're here so obviously it's not going the way you want it to."
"I'm really not having a good time hearing how good a woman made her feel."
"Because she's a woman?"
"Because she's my wife. I couldn't care less about the gender of my wife's extramarital affair. I only care that she cheated on me Kurt. And it wasn't just some itch of curiosity that she had to get off real quick, she had a relationship with her. I would be angry if she'd cheated with a man too."
"You need to divorce her."
"I said I'll divorce her if I want to."
"You're chasing a lesbian Samora. It's not you. She's just gay."
"No she's not. She's never even looked at another woman sexually or even romantically. She doesn't even have celebrity girl crushes. She's not gay."
"But you're listening to your wife tell you how a woman fucked her so good that they started a relationship. That's not gay?"
"Watch your mouth."
"You need to divorce her and let her live her truth. I don't wanna be going around telling everybody that you have a gay wife."
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