Forbidden Desire | sunsun

14

[Depictions of blood, violence, implied/referenced murder, strong language.]

Everything after that is a haze.

Sunghoon finds Sunoo on the floor of his bedroom in the morning, sitting with his head between his knees. The room is silent, and a cold darkness sweeps across the floorboards in dancing, blue swirls around his feet. Sunoo doesn't look up when he hears Sunghoon come in, staring at the dark shadows between his legs. The air is heavy and thick, and Sunghoon places his bags quietly on the floor before he approaches him.

"What happened?" Sunghoon asks, his voice low and quiet. Sunoo hears him kneel down in front of him, resting a hand on Sunoo's shoulder. The touch is soft — warming Sunoo's chilled skin.

"My father," Sunoo says simply. There's defeat in his voice, mixed with anger, trembling like the curtains.

Sunghoon falters. "Why?"

Sunoo doesn't lift his head when he speaks. "He knows about us. About Wonyoung. Everything."

It takes Sunghoon a moment to reply, the words sinking in slowly. Sunoo likes the part of Sunghoon that doesn't pry — doesn't ask more than he needs to know. The gravity of the words seems to settle on him, weighing down his shoulders like piles of ash.

"Did he hit you?" Sunghoon asks, softer this time despite the darkness in his eyes. His hand moves from Sunoo's shoulder to cup his cheek, pushing back the overgrown locks of Sunoo's dark hair to feel the shape of his jaw.

Sunoo doesn't answer, but he lets Sunghoon gently lift his face to see, where a dark bruise is smeared across his complexion. It's ugly and purple — the colour of royalty and wealth.

"Sunoo..." Sunghoon breathes, brushing a thumb over the wound. His face crumples into itself, and it's the saddest Sunoo's ever seen him look.

He'd touched Sunoo tenderly when they'd have sex — had pushed back his hair and kissed his cheek and slept at his side, but none of them have been as tender as this one — so much softness contained within the act that Sunoo wants to cry. The love in Sunghoon's touch in contrast with the violence on Sunoo's face makes Sunoo feel weak and he collapses into himself, beginning to cry again, but this time he's angry.

Sunghoon doesn't tell him to stop, bringing him into his embrace and pressing Sunoo's face into his chest. Sunoo melts into the warmth, feeling the tension in his shoulders soften. The hug is almost bruising in its strength, but Sunoo has never felt so close to him.

"Do you think I'm like my father?" Sunoo asks, his voice coming out muffled.

"What?" Sunghoon asks, shock colouring his voice as he rests his chin on top of Sunoo's head. Despite his surprise at the question, he rubs his hand up and down the center of Sunoo's back comfortingly, easing out the way Sunoo shakes in his arms.

"My father said I'm no different from him," Sunoo confesses quietly. "In some ways, I think I believe him."

Sunghoon hums. "Why do you think that?"

Sunoo shifts against him, fanning his breath across Sunghoon's neck. He feels tears in the corner of his eyes, and when he blinks they roll down his cheeks, hot and wet. "I'm selfish, aren't I? For asking you to sacrifice so much for me. For trying to bring you back to me in the first place."

"You never asked me for any of that, Sunoo," Sunghoon says. "I offered it to you."

"I didn't leave you alone even after you wanted nothing to do with me," Sunoo insists, feeling the shame roll over him in waves. The guilt for putting Sunghoon through so much. "My father said he'd kill us if I didn't end things with you. Wonyoung, too." The confession hangs heavy in the air and Sunoo fears Sunghoon's reaction.