Oneshots Regulars/Irregulars/SSundeeandcrew

Wrong quotes with Alexia

SSundee: Christmas lights?

Garry: Check.

Karan: Thermos of hot chocolate?

Garry: Check.

Rage: Santa suit?

Garry: Check.

Nico : Shovel?

Garry: Check.

Alexia: Alibi and bail?

Garry: Check – wait, WHAT?!

Derp SSundee: You're an unpredictable guy, SSundee.

SSundee: No, I'm not. I may be an unpredictable guy, but an unpredictable guy? Do you think that of me?

Zud: I think you play by your own rules.

JacquelineJacQuay: No way, they think rules are made to be broken.

Derp SSundee: Those are all traits of an unpredictable guy.

SSundee: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Alexia is an unpredictable guy!

Alexia: *smashes a chair* Aah! Shut up, SSundee!

Tentacle Monster: I'd say Alexia is more of a cop on the edge with nothing to lose. That's a whole different thing.

JacquelineJacQuay: Now I'm just confused. Is SSundee an unpredictable guy or not?

Derp SSundee: All right, put a pot of coffee on. We'll get to the bottom of this.

SSundee: *groans*

Alexia: Oh, man.

SSundee: *dies*

Nico: The timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say in two months!

Garry: Bullshit. One month.

Alexia : No, half a month.

Rage, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SSUNDEE JUST DIED!

Karan, scratching his chin thoughtfully: A week.

Garry: Just be yourself.

SSundee: Really? Garry, I have one day to win over Alexia's parents.

SSundee: How long did it take for you to like me?

Nico: A few weeks.

Karan: Six months.

Rage: The jury is still out.

SSundee: See, Garry? "Just be yourself," what kind of crappy advice is that?!

(By the way, I don't ship Alexia and SSundee, I see them more like a brother-sister duo.)

SSundee : You know, when Zoll (the tentacle creature) comes around, Alexia can get a little...

Garry: Psycho?

Rage: Scary?

Karan: Drunk?

SSundee: All three.

SSundee: Fine! Judge all you want, but...

SSundee, pointing to Biffle: Married an Enderman hybrid.

SSundee, pointing to Alexia: Killed a man in the age of 6.

SSundee, pointing to Henwy: Never grew up and thinks the sun is a planet.

SSundee, pointing to Nico: Is in a relationship with two men.

SSundee, pointing to himself: Has a corrupt guardian angel who wants to kill everyone.

SSundee: Bye Alexia! Bye Gold! Bye Nico! Bye Karan! Bye Alexia!

Biffle: You said bye Alexia twice.

SSundee: I like Alexia.

SSundee: Nico is too big for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Alexia: Punch them in the stomach. And when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Biffle: Grab them!

Gold: Throw them down.

Karan: Kick them in the shins!

Nico: No, all of that! Just ask me to bend down!!!

(Nico is just a giant)

SSundee: If you had to, who would you beat up: Gold, Alexia, Biffle or Karan?

Nico: Nobody! They're my friends. I wouldn't beat up any of them.

SSundee: Henwy?

Nico: Yes, but I don't know why.

SSundee, rubbing her temples: I'm not proud of what I'm saying now, but someone should bring me a cigarette.

Nico: But SSundee, we don't smoke.

SSundee: Stop this nonsense, Nico. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

SSundee: *points to Karan* One! *points to Biffle* Two! *points to Gold* Three! *points to Alexia* Four! *points to Nico* Five!

SSundee: Now I'm going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarette between these two fingers!

Alexia: *puts a cigarette in SSundee's hand*

SSundee: Thanks. ...Fire?

The group: *all pull out lighters at the same time*

(By the way, don't do that, it is bad for your health)

SSundee: Man, they look like a real nuisance. How do you deal with them?

*At a dinner party, guests chat while the host is away* 

Biffle, yelling at Nico, Karan trying to light a sleeping Gold on fire, and Alexia, choking on air: I don't know either.

SSundee: We have a problem.

Gold: Let me guess, you caused it?

Nico: Give me a second, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet.

Karan: And it's Tuesday again, what are you saying?

Biffle: Would shooting you solve the problem? No? Then shut up.

Alexia: If you mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem.