Oneshots Regulars/Irregulars/SSundeeandcrew

Wrong quotes yay!

Henwy: Your smug self-assuredness is revolting.

Biffle: I think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. I've done nothing wrong and I have a heart of gold.

Nico: I think this message is extremely valid, but also Biffle has implied wanting to set off the Yellowstone supervolcano, so what's the truth?

Biffle: I want to set it off.

Henwy: You're mean!

SSundee : You're meaner!

Henwy: Yeah, well, you're ugly too!

SSundee : You're uglier!

Henwy: You're a dumbass!

SSundee : You're a dumberass!

Henwy: You think "dumberass" is a good insult!

Biffle: Come to dinner tonight. I can't cook, but I'll bring plenty of free wine.

Henwy: Marry me.

Kate: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Kate: Sigils is still mad about it, but me and Nico were drunk and thought it was funny.

Zud: *holding a salt packet* It's just a little sodium chloride.

Nico: Actually Kate, it's salt.

Zud: That's what I said, sodium chloride.

Nico: Uh Kate, that would be salt.

Nico: *takes salt packer from Kate* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

Kate: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.

Zud: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.

Kate: Not when you're playing with Nico, it's not. They put words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog."

Biffle as a child: I can't wait to grow up and have cool adventures!

Biffle now: I can't wait to go to bed.

Biffle: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Kate: What's wrong with you??

Biffle: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention.

Gold: No, she mean other than that.

Biffle: Ohhhhhh.

Biffle: I haven't slept in 4 days.

Gold: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

Henwy: Come on, Zud! How any times do I have to apologize?

Zud: Once!

Henwy: ...No.

Henwy: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.