Tw: Mentions of s*icidal thoughts/intentions/homophobic slurs if you're not comfortable reading this or struggle with these thoughts yourself I suggest you skip
This is inspired by a chapter in a book by Solby_lives_on
A/N so this is kinda an insight into Sam's backstory
Hey guys Corey said
Oh hey
Me and Elton are going to go visit the s*icide bridge and do some filming you wanna come
FUCK NO FUCK NO FUCK NO
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH BAD EXPERIENCES WITH THAT FUCKING BRIDGE AND I'M NOT RELIVING IT!" Sam screamed about to cry
Ok bro it's ok
They left
Colby held sam as he cryed into his chest
You wanna talk about it
No
I'll just be in my room
Sam said running upstairs crying
Sam went into his room
He closed and locked the door
He went underneath his blanket and started to ball his eyes out
Sam's P.O.V.
Tw: homophobic slurs
F*ggot
Waste of space
s*ssy
Are just some of my things my parents and ex friends have called me
My parents never liked the idea of me being gay or being with Colby
So I would have to sneak out with him late at night I don't know how I didn't get caught
It's just a phase
You'll grow out of it
This isn't you
Their so many homophobic people in Kansas it's ridiculous
And I had started sh'ing
I was a mess
Ever since then I've hated everything about myself I just don't show it
Until I met Colby
I remember about 4 years ago the time I introduced Colby to my parents
*Flashback*
Everybody you all know Colby
Yeah
Well uhm we're dating now
Wow were so happy for you I could tell they where lying
"I'm dead" I said in my head
Well I'm glad you've found love
Allison and Ben smiled they were actually happy for me
I have to get going
Ok I'll see you at school
Ok
Colby kissed me which earned me an aw from Allison
He closed the door
Ok we told you you're not in love with boys
How can you tell me who I am and am not in love with
Don't yell at your mother
My dad punched me
You f*g you're such a disappointment
Now go up to your room
But...
NOW
I ran upstairs crying
*Flashback over*
Then cps found out
And I was taken away from my parents and separated from my brother and sister
We haven't seen each other since
So I had to stay in a foster home
And I was adopted by a nice accepting man and woman they didn't care I was gay all they cared about was if I was happy or not they accepted me for who I was unlike my parents
I still hated everything
And Colby had showed me it's ok to be who you no matter how many people hate on you
He's there for me when nobody is
That's one of the many reasons why I love him so much
But one day this year
I started getting a lot of hate which Colby knew about
But what he didn't know was that I had visited the s*icide bridge Corey and Elton went to
I've been twice that would've been my third time
It was a couple months ago as the hate began to get worst
*flashback*
Tw: *attempted s*icide*
2 months ago (second visit)
I was walking along the edge of the s*icide bridge
Yes you heard correctly
The s*icide bridge the place where people go to take their own life's
I can't take it anymore
The constant hate the degrading dms
"Everything is just so much" I whispered to my self
The voice in my head came back it hasn't been in my head ever since my first visit
Jump
You and everybody else will be better off
Nobody loves you
It's what's best for you
Shut the fuck up I said
I looked down
I put my foot forward over the edge and I was about to step off
Sam no
I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me back
It was Colby
Colby what're you doing here
I followed you
Why
You've been acting weird and for some reason I had a feeling you'd come here I don't know why though
You saved my life
I know I couldn't lose you not like this I love you more than anything
I just smiled
I gave him a kiss
Yeah I know the s*icide bridge is a weird place to kiss your partner
*flashback over*
He saved my life
And I can't thank him enough for that
But I just couldn't go back because the voices might've come back and I probably would've done it this time
