Guarded Soul (The Brats #2)

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Impaired

It's unfair and fair at the same time— the universal nature of life's ups and downs. Unfair because just after you thought every piece is going back to its places, that's when life goes hard again. Fair... because I know everyone experiences this phase once or many in their lives. I'm not the only one.

If I'm not mistaken, all my cousins have already graduated. Even the youngest ones, Alanis and Zoey. Ako na lang ang... delayed.

I'm always told that life isn't a race. It's not something where you can set a schedule for everything and it will happen as planned. It's a matter of timing and growth.

Tinanggap ko lahat ng advice sa akin nang malaman kong made-delay akong grumaduate dahil sa pagpalit ng course noon. I was devastated at first. I was questioning myself and my insecurities got the best of me. I was ashamed of myself for a long time and nothing comforted me. Pero kalaunan, natanggap ko rin naman na ganito talaga ang buhay. Hindi nga karera. We bloom in the right season.

Pero ngayon... hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.

"You failed my subject, Hillary. I can sense you're distracted and facing personal struggles..."

Those words were like a ticking bomb in my head. I felt like I was going to explode any minute.

It was like an echo that kept reverbrating in my head. It was sickening.

"I'm afraid you won't be able to graduate this year because you have to retake my subject..."

And just like that, it got worse.

I couldn't even utter a word. I was speechless and ashamed... again. I was already delayed because of my decision to change my career, and now... I'm receiving another setback. It was so hard to grasp everything at the moment.

I cried in the bathroom because I could no longer contain all the emotions inside me. I didn't know what to do. I could no longer pull some strings because this is a big problem. Hindi ko rin kayang gumamit ng koneksyon at reputasyon. That would even be more shameful.

"Mom..." I called my Mom. Umiiyak ako.

"Hiraya? Why are you crying?!" She was worried, explains the high tone. "Where are you? What happened?!"

"M-Mom!" I wiped my face. "I failed m-my major subject. I'm sorry... Made-delay na naman ako!"

Taas-baba ang balikat ko. I couldn't breathe normally.

Hindi agad nakapagsalita si Mommy. She probably didn't know how to console me. Sobrang hiyang-hiya ako.

"Anak, if you're going to ask what are my thoughts... It's okay for me. That is part of being a student. You fail and relearn..." She was hesitant.

Was she disappointed? Ano kayang sasabihin ni Daddy?

"I keep being delayed!"

"I'll keep you company, okay? I'll live with you while you study. You were probably distracted and emotionally unstable the past months..." Hindi nawala ang pagkabalisa sa boses niya.

"I don't know what to do anymore... Nahihiya n-na po ako sa lahat. Sa f-family... sa mga p-pinsan. Sa lahat." Umiling-iling ako. "Mom..."

I feel like I'm back into square one.

She hushed me. "Your feelings are valid, baby, but listen to me catefully. I know how frustrating and disappointing that must be... but setbacks are normal, alright? It happens to everyone."

Umiling ako. Ayaw tanggapin ng utak ko lahat ng sinasabi niya.

"It's okay to take a little longer to achieve your goals. You don't have to rush, sweetie. No one's pressuring you..." she said gently.