A Secret I Already Know

Ch. 1

"I... I really like you Kahl-er... Kyle..."

I just look at Cartman with the same look as before. "... I know..."

Wait, let's stop right here. You probably know what's going on here, but this is no way to start a story. Let's... let's go back to last year on the day it truely started, shall we? It'll clarify a few things, I promise that.

This whole thing actually started at a basketball game. I was there with Nichole when the Megatron came on. Cartman was up on the screen. He started talking about love and random shit. I was fine with it and wondering what he was planning, all up until he started singing.

~*~

"I want to hold you every morning and love you every night, Kahl. I promise you nothing but love and happiness.
I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
I'll be there, Kahl
I swear, like a shadow that's by your side
Kahl, swear to God I'll be there."

"For better or worse
Better or worse, till death do us part, death do us part"

"I'll love you with every gay beat of my heart!"

I sit in my stadium seat, pissed off and very slightly blushing at the song Cartman sings. I shake in rage. After a minute, he says that the Batmobile is outside and everyone leaves, icluding Nichole. I go after her, but stop as soon as I see Token and her taking with each other. I watch from a distance as the two make up from their break up.

No fair! Nichole is my date! Goddamnit, Cartman ruined this for me again!! And now the whole fucking town thinks we're gay for each other!!

There are days I hate him beyond everything, but today, I regret even knowing him.

I watch the Megatron turn off and Nichole and Token leave with each other.

I sit down, hug my knees, and basically rage quit this day. I've had enough... I just want to be alone right now...

It stays quiet for a while. It's a rare occurrence... I take in the moment while I can.

"Hey Kaahhhl." I hear my name being said and I hide my face even further.

"Go away fatass." I say, pissed at him.

I hear the bench next to me creak a bit, and I infer that Cartman sat next to me. "You know, for once, this wasn't to ruin your date." I scoff at his remark. "I'm serious. I was just trying to get Token and Nichole together."

"And you ruined my date along the way, while, in the mean time, making everyone think I'm a fucking gay wad." I scowl at him.

"Yeah... that last part, I'm gonna have to clear up, though. It includes me." He says...

I laugh on the inside, knowing that I'm not the only one that will have to deal with that forever.

"Well, that's all. I'm outa' here." I hear. The bench creaks again and I hear footsteps waking away.

Weird... you'd think he'd say something about not meaning it. Oh well. I know he doesn't mean it, he's Cartman.

~*~

The funny thing about it is that it never went away. Everyone bugs both of us about it, and I haven't had a girlfriend since then. I've learned to ignore it, though. Cartman yells at them for it. He's never had a girlfriend at all, mostly because everyone hates him. Wendy did kiss him, though, and by her own will...

That shocked everyone in the room. We've long since gotten over it, but when it's brought up, Wendy leaves the conversation in regret of what she did.